Parenting Quote by Jarod Kintz

“I don’t just have one mustache, I have two. You can hardly notice them, though, because I wear them in place of my eyebrows,…

— Jarod Kintz

“I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He…

— Jarod Kintz

“Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Two mustaches walk into a bar, and the bartender said, “Can I get you a drink?” Both mustaches turned towards each other but said…

— Jarod Kintz

“He sneers so regularly that I suspect he shaves his mustache only to spare his nose the whisker burn.”

— Meredith Duran

“I just bought an extra large mustache, to wear as a toupee.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.”

— Jarod Kintz

“His mustache made two curved lines around the sides of his mouth like parentheses, as if everything he might say would be very quiet,…

— Barbara Kingsolver

“My new mustache is barely big enough to cover my pubic region.”

— Jarod Kintz

“When I couldn’t grow a full beard I took it as a sign from God to grow a mustache instead.”

— Jarod Kintz

“People call me “Mustache,” because I have an eyebrow on my upper lip. When I close my lips it’s like a wink and a…

— Jarod Kintz

“I have two mustaches, one over each eye. They smell like tits and ass, because that’s all I enjoy drinking.”

— Jarod Kintz