Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““Anyone want some of my foot long sub? It’s huge! It’s nearly half as long as my penis.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (10 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“How many midget feet can you fit in your shoes? Depends on how big your penis is. Mine is 17 syllables long, like a haiku.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Thank God I have enough skin to cover my entire body. But just barely. If my penis were a mere 2.54 centimeters longer, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My, my, what is the world coming to that women should have feet? Even large ones” — Rachel Heffington Copy Share Image
“And don’t even get me started on penis size. Really, it just gets better the farther south your eyes go—trust me.” — Rachel Van Dyken Copy Share Image
“She’s the kind of woman where if you give her an inch, she’ll take the whole penis. She took all I had, and she… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
