Funny Quote by Henny Youngman Download Open image “When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.” — Henny Youngman ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.1 out of 5 (7 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Medical Medicine
My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays. — Joey Bishop Copy Share Image
“I told a doctor once, "Doc, if you want to know what's inside of me, put down the x-ray and pick up my novel!” — Gerard de Marigny Copy Share Image
“His words swirled around my head, and I heard the doctor at the hospital in Phoenix, last spring, as he showed me the X-rays.… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
I was diagnosed with Graves' disease, an illness of the thyroid gland. Instead of surgery, I was given radiation treatment. — Gail Devers Copy Share Image
One time, I was out watching music, and someone whispered in my ear, 'You can do surgery on me any time.' — Nick Gehlfuss Copy Share Image
I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee! — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
After I had prostate cancer, I had something which was misdiagnosed which led to a load of back operations. — Andrew Lloyd Webber Copy Share Image
The day in 2004 when the radiologist told me I had invasive cancer, I walked down the hospital corridor looking for a phone to… — Geraldine Brooks Copy Share Image
I had a lumpectomy. It wasn't that bad. Six and a half weeks of radiation. — Cynthia Nixon Copy Share Image
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!" — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick". — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
