Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it? — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
If, as the scientist say, sex is such a driving force, why is so much of it nowadays found parked? — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!" — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick". — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
