Doctor Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

— Henny Youngman

At my wedding, I was dancing so furiously that I fell hard on my kneecaps. The next morning, my knees were so swollen that…

— Casey Wilson

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

— Henny Youngman

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

— Henny Youngman

I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this…

— Judith Viorst

I would have walked on the waterBut I wasn't fully insured.And the BMA sent a writ my wayWith the very first leper I cured.

— Adrian Mitchell

In the hospital, I promised myself that I ever walked again, that I would eat well and swim every day.

— Travis Barker

I get a call from my sister. They go, 'We met the funniest, funniest doctor in Newport Beach.' And they introduced me to Dr.…

— Paul Nassif

My sister saved me from drowning. I shouted at her because she pulled me out of the pool and hurt my arm.

— Sarah Millican

I broke my leg playing football and cycled to the hospital.

— Vick Hope

After I got hurt, I went back to work twice, and both times it put me back in the hospital.

— Ken Wahl