Cynical Quote by Henny Youngman Download Open image “My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'” — Henny Youngman ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.4 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare Cynical Doctors Funny Humor Medicine Said Wallets
“Yesterday I went to see a doctor. I woke up with a sore throat, congested sinuses, and invisibility. But when I got to the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What a doctor I’ve got—he’s really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then he hit me in… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
It's not the COUGH that carries you OFF. . . . It's the COFFIN they carry you OFF IN. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“A nurse walked in with some pills and a cup of water. “I told you, I don’t need that stuff,” Mr. Jones told her.… — Jackie French Koller Copy Share Image
“Oh, doctor. I think I’m sick I need some penis-cilin.” I fake cough again into my hand.” — S.K. Logsdon Copy Share Image
I had this lump in my throat, but I couldn't even cry. I thought, I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. I was just… — Katy Perry Copy Share Image
A Cough is something that you yourself can't help, but everybody else does on purpose just to torment you. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Well...I'm on birth control" I was drinking the water again and choked on it. It took several moments of coughing before I could gasp… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!" — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick". — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Broken by hardships, disappointments and tragedy, people can become discouraged and cynical. But lives can also be mended. Put back together well, they won't… — Steve Goodier Copy Share Image
“Writers whose thoughts are expressed with clarity and precision are assumed by readers to be superficial. Where the meaning is obscured, then readers give… — Friedrich Nietzsche Copy Share Image
I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you… — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
Sure, I’m dramatic and sloppily semi-cynical and semi-sentimental. But, in leisure years I could grow and choose my way. Now I am living on… — Sylvia Plath Copy Share Image
We're so immaturely cynical as a culture. We're not wise enough to look at an institution like marriage and to really things about what… — Jordan Peterson Copy Share Image
A well governed people are generally a people who do not think much. — Andre Siegfried Copy Share Image
I love writers who are insightful enough to be cynical but choose not to be. — Brian D. McLaren Copy Share Image
It is a very cynical, skeptical, foolish person that suggests Israel does not need a peace process to have a growing economy. — Richard Quest Copy Share Image
Songwriters might write cynical, world-wise lyrics and constantly talk about money, but most of us are downright naive when it comes to business. — Willie Nelson Copy Share Image
I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was kind of… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
