WIFE, A female who would rather mend your ways than your socks; — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Doggystyle is cool, but when you're drunk, forced sex becomes way cooler. — Nikhil Saluja Drunk Copy Share Image
Sometimes my wife and I like to spice things up in the bedroom & pretend we're a great couple who are still… — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I masturbate to a microwave timer just for the excitement of a buzzer beater. — Nikhil Saluja Masturbate Copy Share Image
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. — Nikhil Saluja Circle Copy Share Image
It's bullshit that I have to wait for a special occasion to eat cake. — Nikhil Saluja Cake Copy Share Image
FACEBOOK: The only place where you can have a MILLION siblings! Their mothers must be Sluts! — Nikhil Saluja Brotherhood Copy Share Image
Ladies, if your boyfriend has a nipple ring he also has a boyfriend. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't believe in love at first sight but I do believe in judging at first sight. — Nikhil Saluja Belief Copy Share Image
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and… — Nikhil Saluja Beer Copy Share Image
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
You know what would be fun? To have a set of twins, name them Dumbo and Goofy and then just sit back… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Smoking one cigarette shortens your life by 14 minutes, but having sex lengthens it by 12 minutes. So smokers: screw for your lives! — Nikhil Saluja Cigarette Copy Share Image
Woman say:CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? Woman means:There is no way I'm going to let any part of your body touch any… — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm feeling down, I come on twitter and read some of your (stolen & reworded) inspirational tweets. Thank you for being there! — Nikhil Saluja Inspiration Copy Share Image
I'm not a morning person. Or an afternoon person. I'm not a person. I'm a dog who took this phone out of… — Nikhil Saluja Morning Copy Share Image
Dudes are like Boobs, farts, butts, funà And chicks are all like Feelings, feelings, emotions, ice creamà And that's life, bro L-I-F-E — Nikhil Saluja Dudes Copy Share Image
WIFE, A spouse who always feels she doesn't dance enough; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Amazing how you can't get anything done when you do nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
