I didn't give a fuck until I drank Red Bull. Now I don't give a flying fuck. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Honey, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex! It's also the food preparation. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I'm husband material (Getting fatter, balding, emotionally distant, intermittently angry for no reason — Nikhil Saluja Husband material Copy Share Image
This role playing game is so weird how many followers do I have to gain to get some weapons? — Nikhil Saluja Role playing Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Amazing Home Remedies: If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was much better at learning things before I knew about boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Learning Copy Share Image
I wouldn't mind being in an abusive relationship with you babes only if you would punch me with her tits. — Nikhil Saluja Abusive relationship Copy Share Image
If she gags when brushing her teeth, she isn't wife material. — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
A fun thing to do during sex is to stop right in the middle of it to vomit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My friends are weird. They think that I can't I'm on twitter isn't a good excuse not to leave the house. — Nikhil Saluja Friendship Copy Share Image
After cooking dinner tonight, I realized there is no straight way to wash a carrot. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Some days I cant stop thinking about you, and other days I wonder why Im wasting my time. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
Do you know what's to blame for the population boom over the last 40 years? Fucking women who can't swallow. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when my wife asks me how my day was, because it's like, doesn't she read my tweets? — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
One day you are gonna retweet & star me like I retweet & star you, and just like you, I won't care. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I would like to open a restaurant, call it the Marilyn Monroe Café, and put hundreds of pictures of Jeff Goldblum on… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you! means I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
