That awkward moment when someone knocks on the bathroom door. — Nikhil Saluja Awkward moment Copy Share Image
If you convince me to make me think WHAT THE FUCK you instantly get a retweet. — Nikhil Saluja Convince Copy Share Image
Amazing Home Remedies: Never, under any circumstances, take a laxative and sleeping pills on the same night. — Nikhil Saluja Sleeping pills Copy Share Image
LUXURIES, Items which, by grand design, always cost more -- for example: a divorce decree costs more than a marriage license — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
The follower counts should be hidden so we can be fair and judge people only by the quality of their tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, That ceremony which makes more strange bedfellows than politics; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
When I hear a guy say bros before hoes I automatically assume he's referring to gay sex. — Nikhil Saluja Hoes Copy Share Image
I met you, I liked you, I loved you, I had you, I lost you, I missed you, I never wanna see… — Nikhil Saluja Liked Copy Share Image
Amazing Home Remedies: For high blood pressure sufferers simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on… — Nikhil Saluja Bleed Copy Share Image
My mom says to me, Honey, I don't want you to think I have diabetes because I'm fat. I have diabetes because… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Women really are disgusting, unhygienic creatures. I mean how can they bring themselves to sit on a toilet that has my piss… — Nikhil Saluja Toilet Copy Share Image
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a rite which a clergyman should perform at no charge -- don't they say that you shouldn't profit by other… — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Call your toilet out so when someone asks you what you did today, it sounds that you actually have a life and… — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
Theres two kinds of women: The kind that get married and have a bunch of kids, and The kind that stay single… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Sorry is word, and when heard repeatedly it becomes a lie. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
When it comes to facials, eyebrows are my penis' finish lines. — Nikhil Saluja Eyebrows Copy Share Image
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. It's science. — Nikhil Saluja Food Copy Share Image
I'm sure I have haters, but they probably have their reasons. — Nikhil Saluja Haters Copy Share Image
It's hard to make a comeback When you haven't been anywhere. — Nikhil Saluja Comeback Copy Share Image
