Nikhil Saluja

A burp is just a fart that took the elevator.......

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish my girlfriend sucked my dick the way she sucks the fun out of everything.

— Nikhil Saluja

I want to meet myself from someone elses point of view.

— Nikhil Saluja

I think I might vote for Barack Obama. Because I live in New York City and have been giving black guys change…

— Nikhil Saluja

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties.

— Nikhil Saluja

Having to poop after a shower is basically your body's way of pranking you.

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter is really fun - you can talk about one person and it makes 50 others think it's about them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hello? Hello, uh ... do you sell ladders? Sorry, you have the rung number.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just had some great sex! My wife kept screaming for me to stop, but I couldn't hear her over her sister's moaning.

— Nikhil Saluja

Freak people out in public restrooms by saying come in when they knock on the stall door.

— Nikhil Saluja

I would never mind being in an odd abusive relationship, if my girlfriend would punch me with her tits.

— Nikhil Saluja

Having tweets favorited rather than being retweeted isn't the same thing as getting friend zoned but it feels similar

— Nikhil Saluja

I swear I have some Bruce Lee somewhere in me... He comes out whenever I drop my phone.

— Nikhil Saluja

Today is Monday and most of you are at work, but don't worry because I hate your job too.

— Nikhil Saluja

Try to read my mind and you'll find all the pages are sticky.

— Nikhil Saluja

She didnt stop loving you. she just decided to stop showing it.. Because no matter how much she tried, you just wouldnt…

— Nikhil Saluja

That awkward moment when someone knocks on the bathroom door.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who has to grow old alone;

— Nikhil Saluja

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You're going to have trouble with it.

— Nikhil Saluja

You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

— Nikhil Saluja

If God Was A Woman.... Men would be born with a permanent erection

— Nikhil Saluja

Earning a Relation is a Reward of your Trust, Maintaining the same is the result of your Sacrifice, & Strengthening the same…

— Nikhil Saluja

If beer pong was one of the event in the Olympics, I would get gold for sure.

— Nikhil Saluja

You're not a real man until you've loved a woman who does a little dance before she pushes out a fart.

— Nikhil Saluja

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

— Nikhil Saluja