I just love to give people the good news first so they end up being sad and depressed. — Nikhil Saluja Good news Copy Share Image
NASCAR : The most exciting sport for people who have never seen a fucking freeway. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The first thing I do when I receive wedding invitations in the mail is read them for typos. — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
I just met this guy accidently who unfollowed me a few days ago. Not sure why he's on the floor without a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This guy in bus just asked if I brought my reusable bag back & I told him it's none of his business… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm so homophobic I won't even fart in front of a gay man...just in case he thinks its an invitation! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're chatting with someone and see '.......... is typing' and then they end up writing nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Awkward moment Copy Share Image
My girlfriend likes sticking her breasts in my face, then asking for something really expensive. She invariably gets what she wants. That,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I like my women like I like my mustard, spread right on top of my wiener. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
My parents used to be happy when I took naps but now they think I'm lazy. — Nikhil Saluja Kids Copy Share Image
You know the acronym behind your name won't keep me from kicking your ass in the parking lot. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Most people don't realize their opinion is irrelevant as fuck. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The only thing a woman is good at fixing is her man a motherfucking sandwich. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
62% of women check phones during sex. 38% of women are wondering what's wrong with their service. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never get excited about anything. Someone or something is always there to mess it all up and bring you back down to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
