Most women are open to anything in bed if you make it clear that you are not going to get anything in… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My mom at night: Goodnight my love, sweet dreams. In the morning: WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SHIT — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
If you're ever feeling down, just remember that I'll always be there to feel you up. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
I always make the wrong decisions so I have something to tweet about. — Nikhil Saluja Decision making Copy Share Image
You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. — Nikhil Saluja Funny marriage Copy Share Image
I start conversations with Hey, I'm fine and I'm sure you're too to save time. — Nikhil Saluja Communication Copy Share Image
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's… — Nikhil Saluja Bad vibes Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Me: Where have you been all my life? She: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
My mom says to me, Honey, I don't want you to think I have diabetes because I'm fat. I have diabetes because… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You help your dog chase its tail. — Nikhil Saluja Dog Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women live longer than men. I am not surprised, I mean they're not the ones living with women. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time I'm ever in favor of abortion, is when the bitch says its mine. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
Good girls pack their toothbrush Bad girls pack their diaphragms Naughty girls pack their dildos — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When will it be acceptable to walk away from someone after they reach their 140 character limit? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
