“Love happens to some people, sometimes. Other times other stuff happens to other people. I’m a person like those people.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“If I were a hairy man, I’d never pat myself on the back, because with all that fur, a pat would turn… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick can be used as a nickname for people who are slow, both physically and intellectually. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I have children I want an even number of boys and girls, and that’s why I want 15 kids—7 boys, 7… — Jarod Kintz Children Copy Share Image
“We danced together. We didn’t look graceful, but how could we? She only had one leg and I had my eyes on… — Jarod Kintz Friendship Copy Share Image
“At first sign of crisis, the ignorant don’t panic because they don’t know what’s going on, and then later they panic precisely… — Jarod Kintz Anxiety Copy Share Image
“My penis is seven. Not years old or even inches. No, my genitalia is the prime number seven. Isn’t that odd?” — Jarod Kintz Prime Number Copy Share Image
“Eleven levitating leviathans couldn’t spell seven if you spotted them the Even and the S. They also couldn’t spell leopard if you… — Jarod Kintz Helen Keller Copy Share Image
“Instead of putting a Band Aid on your cut finger, why not just amputate at the elbow? See, I’m a problem solver.… — Jarod Kintz Band aid Copy Share Image
“On the frozen tundra, I milked a cow and pumped out ice cream. Strangely, it had chunks of strawberries in it.” — Jarod Kintz Ice cream Copy Share Image
“I’d understand if at your front door you want me to take off my shoes, but I wouldn’t understand if you asked… — Jarod Kintz Front door Copy Share Image
“I am a man of action, like a statue of a guy running. In business, when a salesman and a customer race… — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“I take humor very seriously. I also take it three times a day, with meals.” — Jarod Kintz Humor Copy Share Image
“There are certain books in the history of the world that should never have been written. This book makes all those look… — Jarod Kintz Book Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cover up the bald spot all over my chest. That’s why I get so cold at… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I love the way the color lavender smells, and the way the color salmon tastes. And if there were a color called… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Last weekend I went out of my comfort zone to go hang out with people I’d only heard about, and I met… — Jarod Kintz Comfort zone Copy Share Image
“I have so many pet peeves that I can’t even pet them all. And damn I wish they were furry.” — Jarod Kintz Pet Peeves Copy Share Image
“Don’t raise your hand to ask a question, or I’ll give you a surprise high five.” — Jarod Kintz Ask A Question Copy Share Image
“More Americans died in WWII than in any other world war, with the possible exception of WWI.” — Jarod Kintz World war Copy Share Image
“In a good economy, people work hard to succeed. In a bad economy, people work hard to not fail.” — Jarod Kintz Economics Copy Share Image
“A porcupine has fur like a fence. That makes it a good neighbor unto itself.” — Jarod Kintz Fence Copy Share Image
“Save money on kids by volume. Deal in bulk and have dozens of kids.” — Jarod Kintz Children Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a PRA, or Person Replacement Apparatus. Just give the brick a name, start talking to it,… — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I eat fog soup (out of a can). You don’t think I make it fresh, do you? You don’t need a spoon… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wear a helmet when I write, because if you’re doing it right, writing is dangerous.” — Jarod Kintz Writing Copy Share Image
“A bad reputation will dog you for years. A good reputation will cat you. ” — Jarod Kintz Bad reputation Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If you could change War’s name, do you think you’d change its nature?” — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“I once got 7th place in a swim meet. Being top 8 is an accomplishment, especially when you consider that including me,… — Jarod Kintz Success Copy Share Image
“A brand is built action by action, just as houses are built brick by brick. Is the identity of your personal brand… — Jarod Kintz Marketing Copy Share Image
