“Seriously, Jack, I think you might be the only guy in this city who hasn’t read his stuff. Collin McCann is like… — Julie James Copy Share Image
Guys play characters that won't grow up and something catastrophic happens and they have to grow up to save the day -… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
“Every once in awhile, have a really good argument with yourself. I mean really get pissed off. Take both sides. Then look… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Who's your daddy?' Myrnin stared at him as if he'd gone completely mental. ' Excuse me? ” — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
“I like my coffee like I like myself....making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
I think humor is the social use. You can put anything in it. I think - yes, I speak heavily in analogies… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
“But, you're just a girl!" Ben said, his eyes widening with suprise and indignation. The green eyes glanced downwards and before he… — Richard Denning Copy Share Image
“Are you thinking about tomorrow? There really is no tomorrow – not today. Everything exists within the right now and if there… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
You know, sometimes I worry, you know, is comedy and my type of comedy going to get stale? Is it going to… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
“3) Saturday night is the official meeting night of Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club. Attendance is mandatory. Exceptions are for family emergencies… — Elizabeth Eulberg Copy Share Image
“How I should despise such a thing if I were a man. What a nose she has! what a chin! what a… — John Vanbrugh Copy Share Image
“Life is meaning less when you realized that you are about to die. Till then, everything negative however trifle they may be,… — Ankur Basu Roy Copy Share Image
“Those men want to take Laurence from me, and put him in prison, and execute him, and I will not let them,… — Naomi Novik Copy Share Image
“A hippogriff flew past, trailing laughter. It came so close to Will that he could smell its scent, a pungent mixture of… — Michael Swanwick Copy Share Image
“I turned up the inane sound effects and let them fill the room, setting up an atmosphere of mind-body pollution while Miss… — Alice Yi-Li Yeh Copy Share Image
“He’s in a side room alone with her and it’s far too fucking hot.” — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
With comedies, often shorter is better. You don't want to outstay your welcome. — Christopher Miller Copy Share Image
Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you're first coming up and I think that's good for you. Eventually… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
“Her blood-curdling snoring, with its gargling and squawking and its terrifying pauses is like the sound the devil might make if he… — Bailey White Copy Share Image
“It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job.” — Lemony Snicket Copy Share Image
“Some people would regard people who look like they do as ugly if they did not look like them.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“If I shot an arrow and thought about an ass, would it surprise you if it hit Erik?” — P.C. Cast, Kristin Cast Copy Share Image
Blame it on circumstances, but I am actually being penalised for doing good work. I did good comedy so everyone is making… — Arshad Warsi Copy Share Image
“My boss is like an angry bear with a sore head and poison ivy up his ass.” — E.L. James Copy Share Image
“I’m going to tell you something once and then whether you die is strictly up to you," Westley said, lying pleasantly on… — William Goldman Copy Share Image
If you get a good comedy once a year, man, that's pretty good. I may be pickier than some, but still, there… — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
“Wait a minute, hold on... The dude dies, and the girl cries so hard that she gets turned into a fountain ? ” — Caroline Goode Copy Share Image
Writing about your disappointments and your life is for your diary not Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“FORGET you? How could I EVER forget you? Sure, I only remember the last nine minutes, but I know a BESTEST friend… — Guy Bass Copy Share Image
I worked at comedy clubs - if I can use the term 'work' - for several years. I middled at one point.… — Bill Nye Copy Share Image
When you put comedy in the room it's supposed to be in, you start learning it's a process. Not everything is a… — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
There's something about comedy, funny things, that people want to pass them along. Serious things and personal things are much more privately… — Jonathan Coulton Copy Share Image
North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“That’s the eureka moment, when suddenly you know something. Your hands sweat, you get into all kinds of symptoms of tremendous excitement.… — Leon Max Lederman Copy Share Image
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Unless you wanna slam a revolving door, then that's not going to happen. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
