Sloane Crosley

We are only as good as our most extreme experiences

— Sloane Crosley

“I can feel the tingling in my hand as if I've already slapped her, so right does it feel.”

— Sloane Crosley

I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.

— Sloane Crosley

It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep.

— Sloane Crosley

“Pictures should be of what you see, not of what the world sees when it sees you.”

— Sloane Crosley

I think that most New Yorkers would object to calling me a New Yorker. I didn't grow up here.

— Sloane Crosley

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

— Sloane Crosley

The Darkness at Irving. Hope to have as much fun doing anything ever as these guys have on stage.

— Sloane Crosley

What annoyed me was that I so often attempted to weasel out of things on purpose, it killed me to do it…

— Sloane Crosley

Personal technology has given us the freedom of being able to do whatever we want - and in the case of celebrities…

— Sloane Crosley

I think it's hard to have a full-time job and write fiction, but for essays, you need to be in the world.

— Sloane Crosley

The search for one's first professional job is not unlike a magical love potion: when one wants to fall in love with…

— Sloane Crosley

Are there moments when I see unrequited crushes or ex-boyfriends slow dancing with their dates and kind of want to stab myself…

— Sloane Crosley

I was compiling a list in my head titled 'Reasons to Get Up: You Don't Have to Leave, but You Can't Pee…

— Sloane Crosley

“On occasion, it occurs to adults that they are allowed to do all the things that being a child prevented them from…

— Sloane Crosley

My mother is a special education teacher but also an artist, and my father an advertising executive. They are about as wacky…

— Sloane Crosley

There's an 'Everything must go!' emotional liquidation feel to the end of your twenties, isn't there? What will happen if we turn…

— Sloane Crosley

“ and some of the people i knew were contemplating our circumstances. our circumstances being poorly paid jobs if we worked in…

— Sloane Crosley

“When I was five, my mother and sister sat me up on the kitchen counter and explained the facts of life: the…

— Sloane Crosley

The hardest thing is spending twelve hours a day accommodating the rest of the world, then going home at night and criticizing…

— Sloane Crosley

Okay, this is Fran Lebowitz. She gave an interview once for the Paris Review about trying to write fiction and saying that…

— Sloane Crosley

“Such innocent confusions are like cognitive magic-eye posters. Most of the time it's impossible to go back to the jumbled mess once…

— Sloane Crosley

Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every…

— Sloane Crosley

Brits and Americans have hundreds of different phrases for the same thing. Luckily, it's usually a source of amusement rather than frustration.…

— Sloane Crosley

I was taught that candles are like house cats - domesticated versions of something wild and dangerous. There's no way to know…

— Sloane Crosley

“I still think of Oregon Trail as a great leveler. If, for example, you were a twelve-year-old girl from Westchester with frizzy…

— Sloane Crosley

“I was stunned. I pulled the phone away and looked quizzically at the hole-punched speaker. Aside from the blood obligation to be…

— Sloane Crosley

I thought of a high school report I did on the Belgian artist Rene Magritte and a quote I once read from…

— Sloane Crosley

“I have never pictured my own wedding. I do not want to get married. It's a nice idea. Though I think husbands…

— Sloane Crosley

“At this point I feel I would be remiss to not mention the prevalence of a specific kind of person who enters…

— Sloane Crosley

“There's a lot of pointing. A festival of pointing and at very close range to other people's eyes, given the width of…

— Sloane Crosley

“On occasion, it occurs to adults that they are allowed to do all the things that being a child prevented them from…

— Sloane Crosley

“It's not that you have lost touch with these people. You haven't. It's just that they have kept in such close touch…

— Sloane Crosley

“I’m not sure how the ponies happened, though I have an inkling: “Can I get you anything?” I’ll say, getting up from…

— Sloane Crosley

“If I ever have kids, this is what I'm going to do with them: I am going to give birth to them…

— Sloane Crosley

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

— Sloane Crosley

A lot of people are lonely. A lot of people are lonely even when they're surrounded by other people.

— Sloane Crosley

“What can you do? Time grabs you by the scruff of your neck and drags you forward.”

— Sloane Crosley

I thought I'd had another few decades before my noise complaint years.

— Sloane Crosley

It's remarkable the logic we'll build around a misapprehension.

— Sloane Crosley