Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 25

It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever I see a Caution: slippery when wet sign I hide it somewhere, then I sit down & enjoy the show.

— Nikhil Saluja

The only reason women need men around the house is because we haven't made a vibrator that can kill spiders.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a waitress brings the food, old men look at the food while young men look at the waitress.

— Nikhil Saluja

Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

— Nikhil Saluja

Therapist: you should be in a mental institute Me: I'm already on Twitter

— Nikhil Saluja

Boys, Women are easy. Tell them they're pretty. Compliment some shit. Fuck them like you hate them. Easy.

— Nikhil Saluja

Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat.

— Nikhil Saluja

Broken hearts, love's deceit, pieces fall down to my feet. Broken promises, love's a lie, puddles form from the tears I cry.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you have a bunch of cash in your wallet, you'll buy anything. But the last 10$ can last an entire week..

— Nikhil Saluja

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

— Nikhil Saluja

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

— Nikhil Saluja

Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House?

— Nikhil Saluja

It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.

— Nikhil Saluja

School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hey that's not fair! - A dumb bitch realizing she got bad directions to the fair.

— Nikhil Saluja

There is nothing like love in this world unless you experience it.

— Nikhil Saluja

All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black…

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgement;

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the HUNTER says, Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots

— Nikhil Saluja

Followers, because calling them The people who are witnessing your failure is too sad.

— Nikhil Saluja

Being at home with loved ones all week has shown me how much I miss my miserable job.

— Nikhil Saluja

If only forgetting a person was as easy as forgetting why I open the fridge...

— Nikhil Saluja

It's so important to wake up and immediately start starring shit. Stupid Twitter ruined my poo time!

— Nikhil Saluja

When money grows on trees, you can bet there's a lot of grafting going on.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't fall for lines like, God protects his servants in the clergy from harm.

— Nikhil Saluja

Do not cry for those who hurt you, this way you're making them successful, smile and be the winner.

— Nikhil Saluja

Cellphones are like a dog's nipples. You don't have to shout into them!

— Nikhil Saluja

Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in…

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now.

— Nikhil Saluja

What a beautiful day to walk around my city, staring at my phone.

— Nikhil Saluja

The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.

— Nikhil Saluja

HR Manager is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!!

— Nikhil Saluja

A nonsense chat makes sense when you are talking with someone special,

— Nikhil Saluja

I dont own any stocks or bonds. All my money is tied up in debt.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who is so timid, he is even afraid to talk back to other people's wives

— Nikhil Saluja