Funny Quotes by Robin Williams

We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!

— Robin Williams

But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.

— Robin Williams

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

— Robin Williams

Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light…

— Robin Williams

I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection.…

— Robin Williams

And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on!…

— Robin Williams

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

— Robin Williams

It's not just a sin, it's a felony

— Robin Williams

Is it rude to Twitter during sex? To go "omg, omg, wtf, zzz"? Is that rude?

— Robin Williams

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why…

— Robin Williams

I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, 'Mr. Williams, why do you think there is…

— Robin Williams

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet.

— Robin Williams

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

— Robin Williams

Shakespeare said, "Kill all the lawyers." There were no agents then.

— Robin Williams

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'

— Robin Williams

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

— Robin Williams

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

— Robin Williams

It's the same sex all the time.

— Robin Williams

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.

— Robin Williams

I went to rehab [for alcoholism] in wine country, just to keep my options open.

— Robin Williams

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

— Robin Williams

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

— Robin Williams

When I was growing up they used to say, "Robin, drugs can kill you." Now that I'm 58 my doctor's telling me,…

— Robin Williams

I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."

— Robin Williams

I love running cross country....On a track, I feel like a hamster.

— Robin Williams