Kid, if You Need Booze or Drugs to Enjoy Your Life to the Fullest, You're Doing It Wrong. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
The French don't have a baseball team. And if they did, there'd only be a left field, and no one would be… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If I ever asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked a woman and been totally… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If you're going to do a movie about the Village, it's pretty nice to shoot in the village and not be in… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it?… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If you don't keep pushing the limits, you wake up one day and you're the "center square to block." — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Cable is not bound because people pay for it. It's literally a choice, that's the operative word. If you don't like the… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Here's the best birth control in the whole world, if you really, if you have no pills, if you have no diaphragm,… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
You’ve got to be crazy! It’s too late to be sane, too late. You’ve got to go full tilt bozo... ‘Cause you’re… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Things that I see in the future. I see... it could be quite incredible if we can master a few problems, like… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when when the stars are strung across… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Even when I did my Broadway show, I did 15 minutes no one had seen before, because that was the night that… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
A Pentagon official once said the people who would actually push the button probably have never seen a person die. He said… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If women ran the world there would be no wars. However every 28 days there would be some very intense negotiations. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Women are incredibly intuitive. If anybody on the planet is going to evolve to the next level, that telekinetic thing, women will. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Shooting in New York is the shiznit, if I may be so bold. It was great. New York is a character. People… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If you want to die, don't make a mistake and not quite kill yourself because the medical bills in America are hideous. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If heaven exists, to know that there's laughs, that would be a great thing. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter who you are, if you've got the legs, you can hang with them. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I had my back waxed once by two women... and at one point they said, Do you mind if we take a… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Change is not popular; we are creatures of habit as human beings. 'I want it to be the way it was.' But… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
To be acknowledged for who and what I am, no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but, the simple… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
My childhood was really nice. My parents never forced me to do anything; it was always, "If you want to do that,… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. And then you realize, no,… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are laughing. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that! — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am, I'm free! — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
