We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If women ran the world there would be no wars. However every 28 days there would be some very intense negotiations. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
My childhood was lonely. Both my parents were away a lot, working, and the maid basically raised me. And I think that's… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
To be acknowledged for who and what I am, no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but, the simple… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I had my back waxed once by two women... and at one point they said, Do you mind if we take a… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
My childhood was really nice. My parents never forced me to do anything; it was always, "If you want to do that,… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. And then you realize, no,… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Change is not popular; we are creatures of habit as human beings. 'I want it to be the way it was.' But… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If heaven exists, to know that there's laughs, that would be a great thing. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are laughing. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that! — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am, I'm free! — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
