“At the last moment, Kellan swerved around him, quickly leaving the zombie behind. “Why didn't you just hit him?” Jayden asked, turning… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
“You’re seventeen! Why do I have to keep reminding you of that? There are soooo many women you haven’t even met yet!… — Sara Wolf Copy Share Image
It's so funny, I've done so many projects where I've been interrogated. I guest starred on almost every hour drama, and I'm… — Aaron Paul Copy Share Image
You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Well," said my aunt, "this is his boy - his son. He would be as like his father as it's possible to… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
The funny thing is the songs that people think are about me probably aren't. And the songs that are probably are the… — LeAnn Rimes Copy Share Image
“..., and sometimes there's just no point in arguing with him. "Yeah, okay 'me, Jeff, and Evan, sitting in a tree...'" Chris… — Kate Sherwood Copy Share Image
The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for… — Mad Magazine Copy Share Image
With TV, you just have to finish the days and get the episodes out. And it's always going to be an impossible… — Dylan O'Brien Copy Share Image
And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Women are like remote controls. It gives a man pleasure, hed be lost without it, and while he doesnt always know the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Leave America and you'll find that the consumers in many other countries enjoy watching advertising. Not because the products are better, but… — Simon Sinek Copy Share Image
“Madison answered. “I said, ‘The Queen thinks the King’s a pussy for sending her to retrieve me. I dare him to catch… — Gracen Miller Copy Share Image
The thing to do with money is to put it back into yourself, into your work, into the thing that is important,… — Henry Ford Copy Share Image
A community is infinitely more brutalised by the habitual employment of punishment than it is by the occasional occurence of crime. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
“So...Rayna and Nico," he said. "From the secon she saw him," I agreed. "They seem good together," Ben said. Then he smiled,… — Hilary Duff Copy Share Image
Do you know anything at all that nobody else knows or, for that matter, gives a damn about? If you do, then… — S. J. Perelman Copy Share Image
If you're sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year… — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
I spend a lot of time thinking about what I do and how it fits into the scheme of things. I won't… — Joel Hodgson Copy Share Image
Exact definition of physics:physics is the study of finding a black cat in a dark room when there is no cat actually,you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I get a cold sore, I put Carmex on it, because Carmex is supposed to alleviate cold sores. I don't know… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Dear Companies,u need only men having experience…without giving us a chance,how we ll get experience fools... :P :) — Aravind J L Copy Share Image
It is one thing to go on stage and be funny or be in a good place in your career, but for… — Pamela Stephenson Copy Share Image
Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight… — Sally Quinn Copy Share Image
Playing video games, as funny as it might sound, it's a very important part of our day. Our schedule is so hectic,… — Kofi Kingston Copy Share Image
“My parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
BBM for Andriod is the new Google+ account. Everyone wanted it. Everyone got it. And no one has any idea what to… — Tufail Mehraj Copy Share Image
Did you hear this big scandal? Eight female badminton players were expelled from the Olympics for trying to lose on purpose. So… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Who are you?’ Gaia gasped. The girl froze for a moment. Looked at her. Smiled and said, ‘Who am I? I’m the… — Michael Grant Copy Share Image
“I had no idea he thought he was funny, tried to be funny, or actually is funny until he made me laugh… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If he can't get to the clock, any idea how we deal with this lot?" "With great care," Donegan suggested. "How about… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
These guys Steve Harvey and Cedric the Entertainer and Bernie Mac claim they're the Kings of Comedy. They may be funny, but… — Rudy Ray Moore Copy Share Image
To get something you must give something away. To hold something you must give something away. To love something you must give… — David Levithan Copy Share Image
“What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I recently bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back, Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the… — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
If my mom knew HALF of the stuff I've done and got away with...she'd kill me and tell no one where she… — Jerett Parker Copy Share Image
Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken… — Miss Piggy Copy Share Image
I personally find it difficult to accept that there could be anyone on earth insensitive to the comic abilities of Laurel and… — Steve Allen Copy Share Image
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
I'm a funny guy. I love to laugh. I love to have a good time. You'll never see me down or, before… — Ha Ha Clinton-Dix Copy Share Image
