Oftentimes, a funny situation is funny because it's uncomfortable or weird. The most memorable stories, or the stuff that you repeat to… — John C. Reilly Copy Share Image
Women in silk stockings can conquer men and men in silk stockings can conquer the bank. 女人ç¨ä¸è¢å¾æäºç·äººï¼ç·äººç¨ä¸è¢å¾æäºé¶è¡ã — Boboniu Copy Share Image
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Alright! 2 is out Demi wins.All those girls are beautiful. & towhoever posted Demi hate who admins this page, please fess up.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The funny thing is, I was never purposely blonde. I just got highlights, and then you get highlights over highlights, and then… — Cheri Oteri Copy Share Image
I think my way of being "funny" is just saying things that people think but have learned not to say, whereas, I… — Victoria Chang Copy Share Image
It was the most fun I've ever had on a movie. It was one of the happiest times in my life. I… — Mickey Rourke Copy Share Image
You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living. — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Tell Ray to put the eyeliner, the lipstick and the high heels away. I'm not saying he's a cross-dresser, that's just what… — Shannon Sharpe Copy Share Image
“In many species, males pay for sex. For example, among black ticked hanging flies, an amorous male will present a female with… — Steve Stewart-Williams Copy Share Image
“Why me?" I blurted out, and then closed my eyes briefly. "Okay. Don't answer that." The food arrived just then一thank God一and the… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
... Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
To buy books would be a good thing if we could also buy the time to read them; but the purchase of… — Arthur Schopenhauer Copy Share Image
“We were at the White House a couple of weeks ago," the man says, "they had a state dinner for Prince Charles… — Ben Fountain Copy Share Image
Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten your brakes, but youll have to… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
If u drink 5 glasses of milk it makes you stronger,I drank 5 and I couldn't move the wall,but if you drink… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year. — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
“It was a well-known fact that Lorna was leaving in six months’ time, since Lorna had been leaving in six months’ time… — Danielle Wood Copy Share Image
I really like to have sweet people around me. I can't stand bad asses. There's too many of them, especially my age… — Leonardo DiCaprio Copy Share Image
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the Like button. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I cannot create authentic power in you. I can only create authentic power in myself. But, I cannot create it in myself… — Gary Zukav Copy Share Image
There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“Assad whistled a few notes of one of his native country's melancholic songs. It sounded as though he was whistling backwards” — Jussi Adler-Olsen Copy Share Image
I'm afraid that, in this chapter we must talk about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“The two keys to success as a sportswriter are: 1) A blind willingness to believe anything you're told by the coaches, flacks,… — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
Paul Lucas had a particularly amusing accent, so I chuckled. That was terrible; I shouldn't have done that, but he took it… — Fay Wray Copy Share Image
I think the way women are perceived on Instagram is that you have to be hot, but it also has to be… — Rachel Sennott Copy Share Image
When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get… — Amy Childs Copy Share Image
“Don't you think 'Mark is kind of a weird name for a Shadowhunter?" Julian was saying as Emma approached. "I mean, if… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I can play a cat lady. I can't put my foot down and refuse to play anything but playing the perfect, well-adjusted… — Sarah Baker Copy Share Image
What they say about a breakthrough is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to… — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
Success is the next best thing to happiness, and if you can't be happy as a success, it's very unlikely that you… — Michael Korda Copy Share Image
“I had to say it gave me a warm feeling to picture Meredith Winslow spending twenty years or so in an ill… — Kate Carlisle Copy Share Image
What is the best safeguard against false doctrine? The Bible regularly read, regularly prayed over, regularly studied. — J. C. Ryle Copy Share Image
There are things done under the name of science which are ridiculous. But there is also stuff done which sounds funny but… — Margaret Geller Copy Share Image
Go to a park with shades on and a hoodie, wait until someone asks you which kid is yours and say I… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“I overheard Nona talking about my little buds and how she remembered back when she was developing into a woman, and that… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
“There never was a man with such a face as yours, unless it was your father, and I suppose he is singeing… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
