Kathy Griffin

Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you…

— Kathy Griffin

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot…

— Kathy Griffin

I am an outsider looking in, absolutely. You're not going to see me at the Academy Awards 'Vanity Fair' party any time…

— Kathy Griffin

“Presentation was the name of the Catholic church [my mother's family] attended, and this is what I love about the Irish: My…

— Kathy Griffin

“It always pisses me off when I’m calling in to some Morning Zoo radio show to promote God-only-knows what—probably this book, so…

— Kathy Griffin

When my pals in high school were starting to drink, it always looked unappealing to me. I would be at a big…

— Kathy Griffin

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

— Kathy Griffin

My act is based on my life.

— Kathy Griffin

I love to work. I love doing standup.

— Kathy Griffin

I can criticize your religion all I want, and you can criticize mine. I don't like this whole climate of, 'You can't…

— Kathy Griffin

A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody…

— Kathy Griffin

I certainly immerse myself in as many crazy Hollywood events as I can because you never know where you can pick up…

— Kathy Griffin

It was sweaty Whitney (Houston) in Central Park. She knew that park pretty well. Every bush!

— Kathy Griffin

“We all make our own deals. [...] No one knows what happens in a relationship except the two people who are in it.”

— Kathy Griffin

I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a…

— Kathy Griffin

I would actually prefer a guy named Tony, but I'll take the statue.

— Kathy Griffin

I love getting new things. I don't like BUYING new things, but I do love getting things given to me.

— Kathy Griffin

I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

— Kathy Griffin

I love doing [stand-up]. I love making people laugh no matter how. Whether it's a commercial, or a TV show, or a…

— Kathy Griffin

I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage,…

— Kathy Griffin

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.

— Kathy Griffin

“I can honestly say, with complete disappointment, that I have never purged in my life, because I have what I call a…

— Kathy Griffin

I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.

— Kathy Griffin

I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

— Kathy Griffin

“My fear of camping: I’m convinced bugs will crawl up my vagina and lay eggs. Isn’t everyone?”

— Kathy Griffin