“Presentation was the name of the Catholic church [my mother's family] attended, and this is what I love about the Irish: My… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“It always pisses me off when I’m calling in to some Morning Zoo radio show to promote God-only-knows what—probably this book, so… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“I can honestly say, with complete disappointment, that I have never purged in my life, because I have what I call a… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“My fear of camping: I’m convinced bugs will crawl up my vagina and lay eggs. Isn’t everyone?” — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“I honestly never once heard them fight. They yelled at us kids all the time, but never at each other. My siblings… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I do feel I'm kind of a magnet for crazy, and if there isn't enough crazy, I will insert myself in a… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
To give up my job as a temp and actually make a living doing comedy, it was staggering. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
Most people unfamiliar with the men in a new town might search for love until they find it. I picked out some… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“Most people new to a city on the ocean would probably go to the beach during the day when there are people… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“Of course, I’ve told Jesus to suck it, too, which earned me a certain measure of notoriety, because you have to make… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“One of my recurring D-list moments is when people stop me in the airport and tell me they loved me on SNL.… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“This one guy Roland was so weird that during sex his voice altered—as if he were a fucking alien—and he started talking… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“Mom’s a hypochondriac, too, so the best part was that every week she would get the disease that the medical shows were… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“To this day, the behavior of straight men is something I’ve never been able to wrap my head around. Have you ever… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“My mother’s father was just called “The Governor,” or “Himself.” Which, if you have sixteen kids, probably isn’t as crazy as it… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“At St. Bernardine’s the nuns never liked me. Especially Sister Mary Bitch-and-a-Half. I think that was her biblical name.” — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
So many people have no sense of humor, whatsoever! Everyone knows that it is my job to tell the jokes, that's what… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I am an outsider looking in, absolutely. You're not going to see me at the Academy Awards 'Vanity Fair' party any time soon. I'm… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“Presentation was the name of the Catholic church [my mother's family] attended, and this is what I love about the Irish: My mother became… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“It always pisses me off when I’m calling in to some Morning Zoo radio show to promote God-only-knows what—probably this book, so get ready,… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
When my pals in high school were starting to drink, it always looked unappealing to me. I would be at a big party and… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I can criticize your religion all I want, and you can criticize mine. I don't like this whole climate of, 'You can't ever say… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I certainly immerse myself in as many crazy Hollywood events as I can because you never know where you can pick up material. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
