My favorite comics are the ones who say funny stuff but also give you the message. They give you the laughter, but… — Tony Rock Copy Share Image
Every now and then you'll say something that didn't quite work. But the important thing is, as a comic, you try to… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
'Smart, Funny and Black' is about celebrating, critiquing and learning about black culture, black history, and the black experience. — Amanda Seales Copy Share Image
Generally it's not a good idea to wear Banana Republic - type khaki journalist clothes in a war zone. You might look… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You want to have the perfect balance of hot and funny on your Instagram, but you never want too much of either...… — Cazzie David Copy Share Image
The reason I keep talking about a wife and saying the word 'wife' on stage is because it seems a funny word… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
“With the Book hitching rides, hiding on people, guess we’re all going to be dressing like skanks for a while, huh? Skintight… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
“I'm going to put the moves on her,' he says gravely. 'Things might get weird.' He says it like a commando setting… — Robin Sloan Copy Share Image
Most people I ask little from. I try to give them much, and expect nothing in return and I do very well… — Francois Fenelon Copy Share Image
On the wagon sped, and I, as well as my comrades, gave a despairing farewell glance at freedom as we came in… — Nellie Bly Copy Share Image
I hate seeing an older woman standing on the bus while I'm seated. . . So I just close my eyes and… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“When I go to the bathrooms, I cannot take off my pants as before; because there is a light continuously blinking like… — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
“Felicia- Tell me, are my whiskers on straight? Cora- I truly never thought I'd be having that question asked by my daughter,… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
It's funny: I've always wanted to grow my hair out ,and I always seem to get a movie right before it's sort… — Lucas Till Copy Share Image
I just write what I think is funny, or interesting, and hopefully everything else will take care of itself. There's no strategy… — Romesh Ranganathan Copy Share Image
If I'm honest, I think everything is funny. You've just got to find the right way in. When I'm at my happiest… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It would certainly make my week a lot better if I was off work every Monday...somebody needs to make this happen... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. I could fly. I was going to use this power to impress you, but… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
I feel like an '8 Mile' Eminem compared to 'My Name is.' Whenever my name is brought up, it's in a 'Slim… — Michael Beasley Copy Share Image
“I have a funny side. I have a soft and sympathetic side. I have a serious side, and a seriously romantic side.… — Richelle E. Goodrich Copy Share Image
I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Facebook did something or not its not confirmed but this is noticeable that it has devloped modern techniques of begging like and… — Mohd Aariff Khan Copy Share Image
Just as machines need instruction manuals for smooth operation, mankind, the most complicated machine of all, needs the Quran — Dr Zakir Naik Copy Share Image
I love Fidel Castro, I respect Fidel Castro, you know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for… — Ozzie Guillen Copy Share Image
At what point to people get in their car and think 'I'm going to take a photo of myself for my profile… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“So while I drove my little and planned his fantasy night of how I was going to give Otter the key to… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I dont understand why strippers get mad when I tip with monopoly money, I mean...are those real tits? I dont think so. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is important to me as an actor is that ,even if I have to spread my arms, take my shirt off… — Vir Das Copy Share Image
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.This was said by gene wilder ... what does it mean ? — Gene Wilder Copy Share Image
People say drinking milk makes you stronger, drink 5 glasses of milk, then try to move the wall, you Can't, right? now,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She’s not ready and maybe she never will be, but I won’t stop trying. I’ll be patient if it kills me. I… — Heather M. Orgeron Copy Share Image
Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there is nothing right; and on the right… — Bilal Zahoor Copy Share Image
You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
They gave Ariel Castro Life+1,000years in jail...I bet'cha another inmate cant even come to him & bitch about they time...a person can… — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
“There are always messages, even enigmas to be searched, mysteries to be solved in all of my books. I like to puzzle… — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Personally, I feel like I'm trying to redefine what a really good rapper can be like. Like, I think it's not often… — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or… — Tallulah Bankhead Copy Share Image
