Success can never identify who you are. You must always identify it. You cannot allow the failures to identify who you are. — Greg Plitt Copy Share Image
If you can't afford taking your kids to the Zoo, try taking them to Wal-Mart...its essentially the same experience. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how you can be thought of as somebody who humanizes bad guys, and I'll take that, but it is something… — Mahershala Ali Copy Share Image
Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything,"… — Aaron Swartz Copy Share Image
“We play and tease, but―darn it―he has not dragged me into the rain and kissed me senseless yet. And that's how it's… — Shari L. Tapscott Copy Share Image
Frank Skinner was a terrible flatmate in some respects. He never cooked and the cleaning lady refused to go into his room.… — David Baddiel Copy Share Image
I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
“Go to sleep, dweller-baby. I’ll kill Elowin as soon as we find her.” He didn’t sound like he was kidding. Each word… — Jaymin Eve Copy Share Image
“I stuff another handful of Raisinets in my mouth. What gets me is the 'pretty face' bit. 'Cause I won't mind being… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I find that there's so much funny stuff in real life, and I am much more interested in super grounded, real stuff,… — Jay Chandrasekhar Copy Share Image
“At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Once an actor told me he went to the Shakespeare School of Acting, and I said, 'I went to the Shakespeare of… — Michael Clarke Duncan Copy Share Image
“Is that sex talk?" she asked uncertainly. "It is." "Why don't you just say sex then? It's always chalice and appetite and… — R. Lee Smith Copy Share Image
He ended up on his own. I thought, he's got rid of everybody else, he's going to get rid of himself and… — Tony Hancock Copy Share Image
I hope we all feel more comfortable acknowledging the power of image in our perceived successes and our perceived failures. — Cameron Russell Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are… — Stephen Wright Copy Share Image
Sometimes you have to be reminded where you were at the time, and songs are a good vehicle for that. It's so… — Samuel Ervin Beam Copy Share Image
I love when people say to me¦ Omg! Your so funny on FB. If they only knew about my awesome copy &… — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
I'm not a jealous person. I'm just a girl that would love to punch every other girl in the face that gives… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“A trip there would be about as enjoyable as fending off a pack of hippos with a piece of cauliflower while someone… — Robin George Andrews Copy Share Image
It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
“We'll never find that one, and I'll be blamed," announced Edd Tollett, the dour grey-haired squire everyone called Dolorous Edd. "Nothing ever… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance Bad girls think no place is the wrong place… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm serious, in general, and I guess I cling onto the little freedom I have offscreen. Having said that, I am funny… — Nithya Menen Copy Share Image
Starring at a text for 5 minutes trying to figure out how to replywhile thinking, damn it's a goodthing we aren't talking… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's a portion of the movie where something bad happens to me, and I lose my clothes along the way, so essentially… — Gwyneth Paltrow Copy Share Image
“Mom, camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on… — Yvonne Prinz Copy Share Image
Of course there are certain things that get to me, but I try and lead by example and show people that, especially… — Kesha Copy Share Image
Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
People always say life is short. I've never been convinced of that - mine seems to have a tendency to go on… — John Malkovich Copy Share Image
“He shook his head, but I kept flattering him, telling him how fine his beard was, how fair his skin was (ha!),… — Aravind Adiga Copy Share Image
I believe in a reasonable amount of "right to bear arms". But private citizens of the United States are not allowed to… — Ted Turner Copy Share Image
“Halfway through the set, the lead singer, who goes by Cloud, knife in hand, begins to stab at the cutout of Copal… — Fernando A. Flores Copy Share Image
All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“Uh- you shouldn't mock orange if I were you - Why not? *everyone sings* He will He will mock you He will… — Annoying Orange Copy Share Image
To me, there's nothing funnier than funny people in peril, because it's just a great springboard for people to be at a… — Paul Feig Copy Share Image
Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In terms of sheer pleasure, Tom Stoppard was very big for me because he is so funny and so smart, and it… — Greta Gerwig Copy Share Image
