Comedian Quotes · Page 9

I would like a ship for the hips, please. Ships and hips. Hipsters to stir with their hips on the hip ships.…

— Demetri Martin

I'm such a fan of Lily's [Tomlin], for so many years. I feel like Lily was the first popular mainstream crossover comedian…

— Tina Fey

Probably one of the reasons I became a comedian is that you get a chance to control when people laugh at you.

— Ben Miller

A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.

— Will Rogers

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest.…

— Warren Hutcherson

I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.

— Chelsea Handler

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off.…

— Louie Anderson

I have fear of the audience and I am responsible for the scenes involving me, be it as a comedian or hero.

— Karunas

Seriously, if you want to get inside the head of a stand-up comic, you could do a lot worse than reading Steve…

— Al Murray

I don't know that I'd be a comedian if I stayed in Canada.

— Katherine Ryan

Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries…

— Joan Rivers

For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things…

— Demetri Martin

I understand why so many female comics quit or change their path, because it is hard. It's hard to be a comedian,…

— Amy Schumer

I think a lot of studios today are run by women, and we are entering a time when a lot of women…

— Judd Apatow

As well as being a comedian, I am - whether I like it or not - representative of another group of people,…

— Chris McCausland

The first comedians I became fascinated with were the Marx brothers. I couldn't get enough of them. Later in life, I thought,…

— Judd Apatow

To be a comedian: Make peace with the fact that you will never be as funny as a baby falling over.

— Chris Ramsey

If the show is going really well and the comedian is still annoyed with the audience, chances are he's a Boston comic.…

— Jim Norton

I don't have a lot of recreation time. I've always been under the assumption that if you're selling tickets you need to…

— Larry the Cable Guy

Now, I want to explain something to you guys. I don't have an ending joke, because I don't tell jokes. I tell…

— Bruce Bruce

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

— John Oliver

It's a letdown if the comedian doesn't finally actually really sit on his hat.

— Kingsley Amis

Everyone who wants to make it in comedy goes to L.A., so a million comedians fight for time on three stages. If…

— Dave Chappelle

“Paul is a liar, he said so. (Romans 3:7.)”

— Simon Ewins

A friend of mine is trying to do a documentary where he brings Jewish and Arab comedians to occupied territories in Israel.…

— Harold Ramis