Babe Quote by Artie Lange

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

— Artie Lange

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy.…

— Artie Lange

It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out…

— Artie Lange

At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

— Artie Lange

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to…

— Artie Lange

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

— Artie Lange

The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a…

— Artie Lange

The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.

— Artie Lange

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

— Artie Lange

Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do…

— Artie Lange

In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.

— Artie Lange

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

— Artie Lange