Dane Cook

Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.

— Dane Cook

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

— Dane Cook

I get so into the moment.

— Dane Cook

Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a…

— Dane Cook

I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.

— Dane Cook

My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's…

— Dane Cook

I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for…

— Dane Cook

If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get…

— Dane Cook

If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma.

— Dane Cook

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything…

— Dane Cook

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

— Dane Cook

Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.

— Dane Cook

I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat.…

— Dane Cook

Someone needs to make a zombie movie where when you get bit it turns you into a singing and dancing extraordinaire.

— Dane Cook

I'm a late-night guy.

— Dane Cook

Why do they call it the restroom? Is there anybody just resting in this room?

— Dane Cook

It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.

— Dane Cook

Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's…

— Dane Cook

I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike…

— Dane Cook

My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had…

— Dane Cook

If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them…

— Dane Cook

My favorite sexual position is when the girl is facing Mecca and I am fighting off a wolf.

— Dane Cook

I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted…

— Dane Cook

I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.

— Dane Cook

How great if, as well as creating life in their womb, a woman could use her vagina to make hot fudge sundaes.

— Dane Cook