I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat.… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
A lot of comics are kind of vampire types; we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Here's the thing about Red Sox fans, or actually just fans from that region, in general: they appreciate the effort. And if… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I'm interested in doing anything and everything that I can to squeeze the creativity out of my brain. I guess I'm kind… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
You can try to steal the thunder all you want, it just reminds people I'm the lightning. You rumble in the distance.… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Because of what I experienced when I was a kid, I want kids to have that kind of an epiphany moment, that… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
You know what I'd like to be able to do more than anything else? I'd love to be able to shoot spaghetti… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I want to be able to challenge myself. And do things that are away from what I usually do. Stand-up is safe… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Comedy crowds - we always want to come out and ask you, 'How you feeling?' We always say that, 'By a round… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ...… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
No one wants to drown. Drowning would be the worst. Cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling, oh it's the worst... when… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a treacherous journey. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
