I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I say God bless you, I don't say bless you ... I am not the Lord, I can't do that. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat.… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I'm interested in doing everything and anything that I can to squeeze that creativity out of my brain. I guess I'm sort… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I'm interested in doing anything and everything that I can to squeeze the creativity out of my brain. I guess I'm kind… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I want to be able to challenge myself. And do things that are away from what I usually do. Stand-up is safe… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a treacherous journey. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
