Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Sometimes, like we all do, I look at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I cry. Like a really hard cry like you… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Sometimes the only solution is figuring out a bigger problem to focus on. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I am obligated to tell you the truth, my truth. To share with you my beliefs, my perspective. And… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a treacherous journey. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
