I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I always wanted to do a B&E. Not bacon and eggs. Although I could always go for bacon and eggs. I'm talking… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Onstage, it's all just a heightened and more elaborate version of me. When you're standing onstage, your adrenaline is going, your enthusiasm… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?' — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice,… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat ....… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a treacherous journey. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
