If all else fails immortality can always be assured by adequate error. — John Kenneth Galbraith Copy Share Image
As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house. — George Lopez Copy Share Image
“It's common knowledge that shiny rocks are preferred among human females.” — Melissa Landers Copy Share Image
Friends don't let friends be Packers Fans... EVER! (I don't care how much paint your mother huffed during her pregnancy!) — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
When I was in film school, it was said that all good films were characterised by some form of humour. — Lars von Trier Copy Share Image
You don't expect to be touched by comedy. But when it happens, it's beautiful. — Jermaine Fowler Copy Share Image
“The only working model of socialism I have ever seen is in an elementary school classroom.” — R.M. ArceJaeger Copy Share Image
Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“You already alone. If you want more alone, I can knock you into the middle of next week, and leave you there.” — Toni Morrison Copy Share Image
“After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“Shoulda, woulda, coulda. They were the Three Stooges of regret. All they were good for was saying whoop-whoop-whoop and smacking each other… — Thea Harrison Copy Share Image
A book without potty humor is like a banana split without hot fudge. It can still be good, I suppose, but you… — Dav Pilkey Copy Share Image
“To this day, the behavior of straight men is something I’ve never been able to wrap my head around. Have you ever… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I was raised a musician and I played classic music, violin, in orchestras and music comedy theaters, I have music running around… — Larry Wall Copy Share Image
“When the nurse leaves, Doctor Rose mouths, “Act like you’re in pain.” Then she mimics a painful expression in case Summer doesn’t… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
“Bluebell: Please, sir, I'm only a little [car] and I've left all my petrol on the grass. So if you don't mind… — Richard Adams Copy Share Image
If people are attracted to me, I like to think it's because I'm an interesting person, fairly smart, well-rounded, with a good… — Rob Lowe Copy Share Image
“The revolution won’t be televised…" but there is an App for that.” — Gary Wayne Clark Copy Share Image
![“Bluebell: Please, sir, I'm only a little [car] and I've left all my petrol on the grass. So if you don't mind eating the grass, sir, while I give this lady a ride- Hazel: Bluebell, shut up!” quote by Richard Adams](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/2fd/richard-adams-4326_humor_bluebell-please-sir-i-m-only-a-little-ca_1721712.jpg)
