Humor Quotes · Page 94

“WARNING: DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS PAGE!”

— Pseudonymous Bosch

I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.

— Jim Gaffigan

“When it comes to languages, I'm passably fluent in HTML.”

— Bernie Su

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

— Max Eastman

The malicious sneer is improperly called laughter.

— Oliver Goldsmith

It's a young man's game - standup comedy.

— Bradley Walsh

I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.

— George Carlin

Rod has such a wicked sense of humour. I loved him very much.

— Rachel Hunter

I actually pay careful attention to that sort of thing - infusing humor into my films - because that's how important I…

— Park Chan-wook

My career is chequered. Then I think I got pigeon-holed in humour; Shakespeare is not my thing.

— Maggie Smith

“Don’t tell me you have OCD about this?” “OCD, ADHD—pretty sure if they come up with some new acronym tomorrow I’d have…

— Cyma Rizwaan Khan

“...What do people think about my staying with Harrison with him chasing everything that's hot and hollow?”

— Dashiell Hammett

It's a lot of people's goal to be the lead in a movie, and that was never my goal. I just wanted…

— Paul Rust

“Well, of course. But, we already knew that. I mean... I am kind of a big deal-Matt Carter”

— Natasha Larry

The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.

— Jerry Seinfeld

I love making comedy. I never stopped loving it. I will continue to love it and I can't believe that I get…

— Mike Myers

“New Rule: If the guy who makes up the poll questions at CNN doesn't want to do it anymore more, he should…

— Bill Maher

“Kaien Cross: You both entered the room in the same pose! Ooh! If Yuki had seen it, she'd have been so happy!…

— Matsuri Hino

“I've always had these fantasies about being in a normal family in which the parents come to town and their adult daughter…

— Sarah Vowell

Tragedy massages the human ego even as comedy deflates it. ... Tragedy pits us against large foes and the trip wire is…

— Rita Mae Brown

“On some days, writing is wonderful. On the days when it is wonderful, it feels like you are the God of a…

— Leigh Whannell

I don't really know. I think the first test is when you're very little and you fart, and you laugh at it…

— Joel McHale

“He took me in skeptically. "Darling, the ensemble is fabulous," he said, patting my hand, eyeing my black jacket, black tie, black…

— Patti Smith

“For Pete's sake, Quinn, you should have seen him when I was pregnant. He practically set a peacock on fire for daring…

— Alyssa Day

Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.

— Stephen Colbert

Comedy. I think that's something I'd really like to do.

— David R. Ellis

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

— Steve Martin

“One must love a cat on its own terms.”

— Paul Gray

Australians are geniuses with a good sense of humour.

— Fred Schneider

“...we're waiting until we can drink legally before we add in another.”

— Toni Aleo

'I will not stand for being called a woman in my own house' she said.

— Evelyn Waugh

“Women, can't live with them, can't murder/suicide without them”

— Josh Stern

I'm not going to give up the shock part of my comedy.

— Sam Kinison

Laughter is the best medicine of the heart

— Anonymous

There is nothing worse than annotated humour,

— Garry Trudeau

“Who put me there? WHO PUT ME THERE!”

— Loki Laufeyson

“Saints!" I swore. "I forgot how often I want to stab you.”

— Leigh Bardugo

“First rule of Angel Club, you do not talk about Angel Club.”

— Cynthia Hand

“Given up, Khouri? It's not in my dictionary.”

— Alastair Reynolds

“No point making rules against things that are impossible.”

— G. Norman Lippert