You know crazy straws - they go all over the place? These straws are sane. They never lost their mind. They say,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Alasdair yanked a pillow, shoving it under his arse. "I think you'll find I'm a heavy but remarkably fit and supple git,… — josephine myles Copy Share Image
“Rhiannon's Law #22. You can't lie to yourself, so don't bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth… — J.A. Saare Copy Share Image
“Our children were allowed to help when they were little, urged to help when they grew a little older, and sometimes ordered… — Boyd K. Packer Copy Share Image
“After using a paint chart from a local DIY superstore to identify the skin tone of his penis as midnight chocolate, Miriam… — David F. Porteous Copy Share Image
“At least I'm not a font nerd." "A what?" Matt smiled. "You know. People who love fonts. There are people who go… — Jessica Park Copy Share Image
“At Camp Don Bosco, there were Bibles all over the place, mostly 1970s hippie versions like Good News for Modern Man. They… — Rob Sheffield Copy Share Image
Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I have a tendency toward the pleasures of the flesh. It's a battle for me, as far as weight and things like… — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I still remember the day I got my first calculator Teacher: All right, children, welcome to fourth grade math. Everyone take a… — Simon Rich Copy Share Image
“Children," Johanna drawled out. "They're such a joy. When you get married and have a family of your own, you'll understand what… — Julie Garwood Copy Share Image
“I borrowed a hammer and the garage and disposed of both phones. I was pretty sure that I could have just pulled… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
“You think all I can do is frog legs? I got Legs on my mind, alright, but yours. I’ll do whatever it… — A. Violet End Copy Share Image
I think it's the same as comedy. They're just highly entertaining. They take you on a ride. They tap into your base… — Elizabeth Banks Copy Share Image
“I would appreciate it if you would stop… stop… ogling me like that," she hissed, tugging her very modest neckline higher. "It… — Anne Gracie Copy Share Image
“If you've spent any time trolling the blogosphere, you've probably noticed a peculiar literary trend: the pervasive habit of writers inexplicably placing… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
I like to think that even with some of the more intense ones sometimes there is humour in there, you try to… — Ray Liotta Copy Share Image
“Kudra was amused by Alobar's tentative polka until her eyes fell upon the tumescent protrusion dancing with him. Disgusting she thought. An… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“Wesley went everywhere with me from then on. I even wrapped him in baby blankets and held him in my arms while… — Stacey O'Brien Copy Share Image
“The season of domestic goodwill and festivity must have posed a problem to all good Victorian family men with more than one… — Claire Tomalin Copy Share Image
I think people are sexy when they have q sense of humor,when they are smart,when they have a sense of style,when they… — Chin Chin Copy Share Image
Awkwardness is where tension is, and tension is where the story is. It's also where the comedy is, which I'm interested in;… — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
“I once got engaged to his daughter Honoria, a ghastly dynamic exhibit who read Nietzsche and had a laugh like waves breaking… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
Music and comedy, musical comedy, specifically, really helped me through my childhood. I felt out of place, I felt lots of adversity,… — Randy Rainbow Copy Share Image
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
It so fascinates me how we always laugh when somebody falls on a banana peel, how comedy and injury are often so… — James Lapine Copy Share Image
“Alright, good night,” he said, his words a little slurred. “But before I pass out, I want you to know that you’re… — Erin McCarthy Copy Share Image
“I paused for a moment, debating whether to turn and look what was happening. My senses told me Obo’s presence was still… — M.A. George Copy Share Image
In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“Nearly everywhere I've been, popular wisdom has it that the location of humanity's original planet is unknown, mysterious. In fact it isn't,… — Ann Leckie Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Now, what happened to you two?” he points at me then at Luke. “Nothing.” I say to Will. “Luke is smitten after… — Rea Lidde Copy Share Image
“And how could he know the character of the country? By finding out the sense of humor of the country. For if… — Rebbe Nachman of Breslov Copy Share Image
You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The hardest part of comedy is writing the jokes, and the second-hardest part is telling the jokes. To me, everything else is… — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
“Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Someone opens the door. Do not panic. “Hi.” I’m smiling, but I find myself leaning awkwardly to my… — Rea Lidde Copy Share Image
I ask my wife last night why she love me? She said because I am funny, has a good sense of humor,… — Glen Rambharack Copy Share Image
[At Boston College] I started working on the kinds of skills that you need for comedy. It's about being creative and learning… — Amy Poehler Copy Share Image
Movies are designed to tell us stories, engage us on an emotional level and keep our attention. This can be done with… — David Hayter Copy Share Image
![“[At Boston College] I started working on the kinds of skills that you need for comedy. It's about being creative and learning to use your gift for being able to let loose and be very unself-conscious. It took me time though before I was really able to get comfortable doing that.” quote by Amy Poehler](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/5d5/amy-poehler-1084_able_at-boston-college-i-started-working-on-t_2516217.jpg)
