“when the end came and there was initial chaos and rampant starvation, people learned all too well that you could not rely… — Benjamin Wallace Copy Share Image
“I'm the bathroom master I'm a real bowl blaster Don't mess with me 'Cause I can mess it up faster With just… — R.U. Slime Copy Share Image
“The next morning I had Twentieth-Century American Poetry at MCC. This old woman gave a lecture wherein she managed to talk for… — John Green Copy Share Image
“My alarm goes off at 5:50 a.m. First thing I do is check to make sure I'm not dead. If I am,… — Samantha Irby Copy Share Image
“I don't get it. Basketball is so supremely boring. I can't understand the point of watching ten giants running from one end… — Carter Quinn Copy Share Image
Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well...… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“Somehow she had climbed halfway up his body before he managed to grasp her waist. He plucked her off and set her… — Thea Harrison Copy Share Image
Neck-down comedy was no longer valid after the 1980s alternative comedy revolution. Everything became about the cerebral. And with that came positive… — Lee Mack Copy Share Image
Both my comedy partner, Steve Punt - who grew up in Reigate and is the son of a civil servant - and… — Hugh Dennis Copy Share Image
“[Hades] returned his attention to the playlist while I eased the car back on the road. His fingers flipped deftly over the… — Kaitlin Bevis Copy Share Image
“International awareness of his deceptive practices is the reflection of the frustration that is prevailing in Sri Lanka which the President is… — Nilantha Ilangamuwa Copy Share Image
“ 'You've got a smart mouth, boy. And you swear too much. I should do what your mama failed to do and… — Finn Marlowe Copy Share Image
Then my first film was something called Cannibal Girls, which sounds like a horror movie but was actually kind of a goofy… — Ivan Reitman Copy Share Image
When I was growing up, I had more comedy albums than musical ones. George Carlin, Cheech and Chong, Steve Martin, Richard Pryor… — David Bryan Copy Share Image
“Log Entry: SOL 118 My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I'll paraphrase… — Andy Weir Copy Share Image
I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. And when I started having kids, that doesn't work with kids. Kids don't… — Kurt Fuller Copy Share Image
“She added, perhaps to herself, "You have to become old and ugly before anyone listens to you, and then they don't, because… — Gregory Maguire Copy Share Image
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him,… — Alan King Copy Share Image
“you happen to be possessed of a certain verbal acuity coupled with a relentless hair trigger humor and surface cheer spackling over… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
Especially while television I think is going through some growing pains or is in need of - I think current comedy is… — Jenna Elfman Copy Share Image
“Suddenly, he wanted some credit for it. He wanted someone to thank him for not crapping on the institution of love. He… — Amity Gaige Copy Share Image
“I love it," I say. "So I learned it." It's an explanation that leaves a lot out. But I learned a long… — Jael McHenry (The Kitchen Daughter Copy Share Image
“She tried to keep in mind how scared and hurt Hunter was and decided to let him have that one. She chose… — Aaron Overfield Copy Share Image
Comedy shows in D.C. are so much fun. I think because of the intense area that is connected to politics that people… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
“You can hear now. Your inner ear is formed. I shout "I love you" into the bedroom. Then I feel stupid. Then… — Suzanne Finnamore Copy Share Image
“Dear God, that man has a magnificent body.' …… 'It’s like having a cupcake thrust in front of your face and not… — J.L. McCoy Copy Share Image
“I got presents as a kid. That stopped in my teens. The small family gifts were gone. Replaced by dark humor –… — Damon Thomas Copy Share Image
“Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Look, you mad tart, I have a covenant with God, which is: I don't mention that he has stocked the world full… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
There's only one podcast subject that can give Donald Trump a run for his money when it comes to vulgarity, excess, and… — David Hepworth Copy Share Image
Everyone tells me I have a funny accent. It's because I copy people. I learned English at school but have best friends… — Caroline Winberg Copy Share Image
People need to be peppered or even outraged occasionally. Our national comedy and drama is packed with earthy familiarity and honest vulgarity.… — Kenneth Williams Copy Share Image
“Last time I saw her, she was peeking out from one of the bookcases next to the fireplace. She's the first cat… — Ellen Hart Copy Share Image
“You’re JOKING!” said Fred Weasley loudly. The tension that had filled the Hall ever since Moody’s arrival suddenly broke. Nearly everyone laughed,… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves… I try… — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
Mutual good humor is a dress we ought to appear in wherever we meet, and we should make no mention of what… — Richard Steele Copy Share Image
“...the Puritans compressed whatever mirth and public joy they deemed allowable to human infirmity; thereby so far dispelling the customary cloud, that,… — Nathaniel Hawthorne Copy Share Image
One thing you must never lose is courage. If you believe in the goal you are striving for, you will be courageous.… — Shigesato Itoi Copy Share Image
“Wonderful.” Avenant rolled his eyes. “Letty’s killed the doctor. Now I’ll have to start all over with training another one to stand… — Cassandra Gannon Copy Share Image
The girls that I grew up with, and my friends and I, we just never had interests in common. I loved comedy.… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image