“He has a name." "Oh yeah. Skulduggery isn’t it?" Fletcher responded. "That’s an unusual one. Tell me were you born a skeleton… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
Our house was a place where you were welcome to make an idiot out of yourself. Silliness was valued. My dad worked… — Ty Burrell Copy Share Image
“Well aware that to bring the voice of sober reason to bear upon the exaggerations of agitated females was both fruitless and… — Georgette Heyer Copy Share Image
“I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about PRINCESS.” He tilted his head and half curtseyed when he said… — B.C. Morin Copy Share Image
One is a young, pockmarked wiseacre with a smirk that won't quit, the other an aging but still gorgeous leading man with… — Joy Horowitz Copy Share Image
“Ed began explaining this Yo La Tengo thing, how he was listening to a record of theirs, on vinyl he emphasized, and… — Catherine Lacey Copy Share Image
“I’ve always wondered though,” Orn mused aloud, “what does God need with a starship?” “Are you going to make that stupid quip… — Sabrina Zbasnik Copy Share Image
I talked about everything, man. I've always written material that everyone can laugh at. I talked about growing up. I did a… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
“You know you're in the wrong century when you farble the poor young woman at the cosmetics counter thus: "Why do they… — Tinney S. Heath Copy Share Image
“Exceptional estimable, good, nice, dear people they all were but they all, unluckily, kept asking me about the new novel, and that… — Robert Walser Copy Share Image
“Hampden College, as a body, was always strangely prone to hysteria. Whether from isolation, malice, or simple boredom, people there were far… — Donna Tartt Copy Share Image
“For this kind of commodity will not bear exportation, the flesh being of too tender a consistence to admit a long continuance… — Jonathan Swift Copy Share Image
“What Jeremy likes about showers is the way you can stand there, surrounded by water and yet in absolutely no danger of… — Kelly Link Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I'm not even sure… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Stubborn people make the best lovers. You tell them no, they say yes, you tell them get lost, they hang around, you… — Benjamin Smith Copy Share Image
“I was playing a new part in a new play: the messed-up adult child coming home in a truly pitiful state in… — Inna Swinton Copy Share Image
I think comedy is a good way to help people change their minds. I think that if you're laughing and getting a… — Maz Jobrani Copy Share Image
If Bob Dylan really is an historian in and of himself in his work, in his performances, he is also an historian… — Greil Marcus Copy Share Image
“You get a kick out of shocking the pants off me, don’t you?” I shook my head with a smirk. He just… — M.A. George Copy Share Image
“My eyes are not sparkly! I’m not a sparkly sort of girl … I go around with dirty knees and slay dragons… — Marc Secchia Copy Share Image
“Having a dick is one of the most dangerous things on the planet. How many people are eaten by sharks each year?… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor.… — Florence King Copy Share Image
“There was a black marine called Philly Dog who'd been a gang lord in Philadelphia and who was looking forward to some… — Michael Herr Copy Share Image
“[At first, Calvin's at school, in his classroom.] CALVIN'S TEACHER: "We'll see what the principal has to say about your attention span,… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
We've all seen comedians look like they're reaching just a little bit too much for the laugh. This is counterproductive. The conceit… — Romesh Ranganathan Copy Share Image
The best comedy to me - and again, I grew up with comedy since I was a baby, so I've seen it… — Pauly Shore Copy Share Image
“She ran into the bathroom and powdered her face and the front of her dress, drew a surrealistic version of a mouth… — John Kennedy Toole Copy Share Image
If people are attracted to me, I like to think it's because I'm an interesting person, fairly smart, well-rounded, with a good… — Rob Lowe Copy Share Image
My life consists of laughter, love & happiness if you can't bring these 3 things to my table your not welcome because… — Natasha Buckmaster Copy Share Image
“Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
If anything, being a female has afforded me opportunities on YouTube that I necessarily didn't have in doing traditional comedy and auditioning… — Grace Helbig Copy Share Image
“So. You think you ended things too late with Brooke. You mean . . . because you’re totally crazy about her?” When… — Julie James Copy Share Image
“ From CATS ARE KIND "A man said to the universe, 'Sir, I exist!' 'Excellent,' replied the universe, 'I've been looking for… — Henry N. Beard Copy Share Image
“Well, where's the hussy now? Is she in Avalon? Does she live in New York? Is she allergic to strawberries? Because I… — Chelsea Fine Copy Share Image
“I am so sorry to hear of Asher 's passing. I will miss his scientific insight and advice, but even more his… — Charles Henry Bennett Copy Share Image
“They could hear people complaining; one surly voice said, "I can't see no gas..." "That's because it's colorless," said Ginny in a… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
With humor you have so many options with topics and length, I mean I can write humor essays in books now and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“At the Temple of the Seven-Handed Sek a hasty convocation of priests and ritual heart-transplant artisans agreed that the hundred-span-high statue of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
At Murry Bergtraum [High School] if you were really funny you sat at this table at with all of the funniest dudes,… — John Leguizamo Copy Share Image