Florence King

A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt.

— Florence King

Spinsterhood is Nature's Own Feminism.

— Florence King

Some last words seem flat-out unbelievable.

— Florence King

“Hell hath no fury like a liberal arts major scorned.”

— Florence King

Never look on the bright side. The glare is blinding.

— Florence King

Why do I hate people? Who else is there to hate?

— Florence King

Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

— Florence King

A man should never apologize!

— Florence King

He travels fastest who travels alone, and that goes double for she. Real feminism is spinsterhood.

— Florence King

True nostalgia is an ephemeral composition of disjointed memories.

— Florence King

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

— Florence King

The nice thing about Southerners is the way we enjoy our neuroses.

— Florence King

In Mississippi the important thing is hooch, not bar equipment.

— Florence King

“For a girl gone wrong, you can't beat the banks of the Wabash.”

— Florence King

I don't mind being regarded as perverted and unnatural, but I would die if people thought I was a Democrat.

— Florence King

“How can she grow up to be a lady if she's always got her nose in a book?”

— Florence King

There's something unrefined about a reading woman, they always reek of the lamp. How can she grow up to be a lady…

— Florence King

“Nothing is more frustrating than sitting in an office amid typewriters and mimeographers when you know what deus ex machina means.”

— Florence King

Updike's style is an exquisite blend of Melville and Austen: reading him is like cutting through whale blubber with embroidery scissors.

— Florence King

Kings and queens might do wicked things, but they don't nag. One thing I like about Bloody Mary: she never said a…

— Florence King

If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a…

— Florence King

Southerners have a genius for psychological alchemy...If something intolerable simply cannot be changed, driven away or shot they will not only tolerate…

— Florence King

If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

— Florence King

Christopher Hitchens and I were not friends or even acquaintances. We never met or spoke on the phone, just exchanged occasional brief…

— Florence King

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the…

— Florence King

Any hope that America would finally grow up vanished with the rise of fundamentalist Christianity. Fundamentalism, with its born-again regression, its pink-and-gold…

— Florence King

Feminists, I hasten to add, are not all bad. In fact, they are an ideal bellwether, an invaluable aid in helping me…

— Florence King

America is not a democracy, it's an absolute monarchy ruled by King Kid. In a nation of immigrants, the child is automatically…

— Florence King

To me, elitism means a love of excellence and superiority, but America has declared war on both and developed a sick love…

— Florence King

A cardinal rule of writing is never interrupt yourself to explain something. If you must bring up an obscure topic, drop informative…

— Florence King

The American woman's concept of marriage is a clearly etched picture of something uninflated on the floor. A sleeping-bag withoutair, a beanbag…

— Florence King

“His Grace called Virginius in and said: "Do you think a priest of the Anglican Communion should be a divorced man with…

— Florence King

There are so many different kinds of people in America, with so many different boiling points, that we don't know how to…

— Florence King

The proliferation of support groups suggests to me that too many Americans are growing up in homes that do not contain a…

— Florence King

Hereditary monarchy offers numerous advantages for America. It is the only form of government able to unify a heterogeneous people. Thanks to…

— Florence King

The confidence and security of a people can be measured by their attitude toward laxatives. At the high noon of the British…

— Florence King

“If any of us had heard the word "feminist" we would have thought it meant a girl who wore too much makeup,…

— Florence King

The American way of stress is comparable to Freud's 'beloved symptom', his name for the cherished neurosis that a patient cultivates like…

— Florence King

When you go apartment-hunting in the South, you encounter little old ladies who ask you if you use strong drink. In New…

— Florence King

“Writers make everybody nervous but we terrify Silly Service workers. Our apartments always look like a front for something, and no matter…

— Florence King