Joe Rogan

People love to see people fall.

— Joe Rogan

A unicorn is a donkey from the future

— Joe Rogan

People for the most part can smell lies.

— Joe Rogan

I do cagefight commentary in my spare time.

— Joe Rogan

I love existing in pre big bang conditions.

— Joe Rogan

Houston Alexander is for real!

— Joe Rogan

Choose To Be Inspired.

— Joe Rogan

You could smell my ass from mars.

— Joe Rogan

If Tyson Griffin was a girl, I'd say he has a badonkadonk.

— Joe Rogan

Well you see, Brazilian JiuJitsu Blackbelts have a blackbelt in… Brazilian JiuJitsu

— Joe Rogan

If life wasn't real it would be the craziest psychedelic trip ever

— Joe Rogan

Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.

— Joe Rogan

I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do.

— Joe Rogan

Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.

— Joe Rogan

Jiu-Jitsu has been one of the most valuable tools I've ever had in my life.

— Joe Rogan

People do always try to smoke pot with me. But I think some of those people are cops.

— Joe Rogan

I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand…

— Joe Rogan

The time you spend hating on someone robs you of your own time. You are literally hating on yourself and you don't…

— Joe Rogan

I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.

— Joe Rogan

When a ball goes into a net it only means something because we decided it means something. When somebody punches somebody in…

— Joe Rogan

The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think…

— Joe Rogan

I've been inspired by a shitload of people in my life so if there's ever anybody that I can inspire, to me…

— Joe Rogan

I'm afraid of heights. Not unreasonably, but rationally afraid of heights. I think everyone is.

— Joe Rogan

I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to…

— Joe Rogan

You are one miniscule piece of a never-ending cycle. In fact, you're not even a piece. You're just a holder for billions…

— Joe Rogan

Peter Joseph is asking the questions and proposing the possible solutions that we should be demanding from the elected leaders of this…

— Joe Rogan

I'm a nightclub comic. That's what I do. I work in the clubs uncensored because my mind is uncensored, and those are…

— Joe Rogan

I think comedy because of the Internet it has a bigger audience, a bigger fan base. It has fans that understand comedy…

— Joe Rogan

I think that one of the reasons why people look towards the end of humanity is that people are afraid to die…

— Joe Rogan

I really never thought people would think that I was funny, I thought (my friends) thought I was funny because I was…

— Joe Rogan

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write…

— Joe Rogan

The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires…

— Joe Rogan

I have this thing built into my contract that the club has to put up a sign that says my act "contains…

— Joe Rogan

Now obviously popularity isn't everything when it comes to stand up comedy, but the art form itself is better today than it…

— Joe Rogan

Comedy is a funny thing, and it's really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in…

— Joe Rogan

I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to…

— Joe Rogan

There's a very famous Miyamoto Musashi quote. "Once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in all things." The idea…

— Joe Rogan

Selling your life to sit in a box and work for a machine. An uncaring machine that demands productivity that doesn't understand…

— Joe Rogan

I don't know much about the music business, but for just general advice for someone trying to create things, as simple as…

— Joe Rogan

It's a weird experience when you're just trying to talk openly about how you think psychedelic drugs and marijuana are beneficial, or…

— Joe Rogan