I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I was definitely not the kid that just wanted to be famous for no reason whatsoever and then happened to find comedy.… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“I can't believe we just did this. I'm such an asshole, I said. Note to self, women don't really want to hear… — JD Holmes Copy Share Image
“I mean, scamming on guys on the Internet? I thought that was only for forty-year-old divorcees who Photoshop their pictures in an… — Lauren Barnholdt Copy Share Image
Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“There is a lot of folklore about equestrian statues, especially the ones with riders on them. There is said to be a… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Comedy can be quite all consuming at times, and if you're not careful you end up doing a tour, then a DVD,… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“Mr. Townsend quirks a brow at the other man, and when our boss walks away he sticks his tongue out to his… — Allana Kephart Copy Share Image
I think of everything as comedy, but I don't think of it in terms of sitcom comedy, I think of it in… — Jeffrey Tambor Copy Share Image
Liberals don't have a sense of humor, particularly if it's about them. You can't laugh at them, you can't mock them, you… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
“I'm just like any other person you can meet and greet on the street and like or not like. I'm not Holden… — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
There are terrific TV shows now. This is a golden age for TV humor, I think. There's an actual market there. Of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“terrorism n. Violence for political purposes or the politically motivated threat of violence which, either intentionally or unintentionally, challenges the state's monopoly… — Leslie Starr O'Hara Copy Share Image
“(Plants on the disc, while including the categories known commonly as annuals, which were sown this year to come up later this… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“That year the Ribeiro's daffodils seeded early and they seeded cockroaches. Now, ecologically speaking, even a cockroach has its place -- but… — Janet Kagan Copy Share Image
Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
There are a lot of great jokes you can sit down and write, but that's just a written joke, versus the comedy… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
I don't really have a type. I don't want to be a cliche. But personality is a big thing for me. You… — Zara Larsson Copy Share Image
Any comedic-type person will tell you there's no greater high in the world than someone to laugh at a joke or tell… — Randy Rainbow Copy Share Image
“Jeremy fixed her with a dark look, full of reproach. A hot blush singed the tips of her opal-adorned ears. For a… — Tessa Dare Copy Share Image
We wanted the humor to come from the characters and their world - you go down there to escape the world up… — Stephen Hillenburg Copy Share Image
“A slim shoulder shrugged on the other side of Mako, and his darned dog slid down and plopped her head into Becky’s… — Kim Law Copy Share Image
“A standard feature of situation comedy has some form of the main character "talking trash" to someone about a husband, wife, girl… — Karl Albrecht Copy Share Image
Slim Shady is just the evil thoughts that come into my head. Things I shouldn't be thinking about. Not to be gimmicky,… — Eminem Copy Share Image
“A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Did you ever think about the creation of the flame-thrower? Someone, somewhere, at some time must have been sitting on his porch,… — John Larson Copy Share Image
“The elevator doors opened on the first floor and Van Holtz was waiting there with several bags of groceries in his hands.… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
Unless comedy touches me as well as amuses me, it leaves me with a sense of having wasted my evening. I go… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
All Dickens's humour couldn't save Dickens, save him from his overcrowded life, its sordid and neurotic central tragedy and its premature collapse.… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
“H.I.V.E. will not tolerate unauthorized violence between students, especially students that have only been here for a matter of hours." "I was… — Mark Walden Copy Share Image
At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me,… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I think it would be exhausting and depressing, to write, to watch and to live, if it was just focused on drama.… — Jenji Kohan Copy Share Image
To run this business ... you need ... optimism, humanism, enthusiasm, intuition, curiosity, love, humour, magic and fun, and that secret ingredient-euph oria. — Anita Roddick Copy Share Image
According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you're having… — Chuck Lorre Copy Share Image
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Roan looked down at the pathetic little fur ball with a pink ribbon clipped to the top of its head and growled… — Andrea Speed Copy Share Image
“Are you threatening me?” He looked completely outraged at such a thing. “You bet your incredibly attractive and probably hard enough to… — Katie MacAlister Copy Share Image
I feel like with comedy, the crazy things that happen are never serious you know? Like, rubble being poured onto you in… — Vanessa Hudgens Copy Share Image
I think that laughter and death are closely related: comedy is the quintessential human reaction to the fear of death. It's probably… — Maurizio Cattelan Copy Share Image
![“A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant…” quote by Douglas Adams](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/0a5/douglas-adams-122_hitchhiker-s-guide_a-towel-the-hitchhiker-s-guide-to-the-ga_1507614.jpg)
