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Portrait of Jeff Foxworthy

Jeff Foxworthy

(1958) Comedian United States

325 quotes in 1205 categories

Jeff Foxworthy uses humor to point out redneck quirks, like comparing thighs to a minivan hood after a hailstorm. He also shares funny moments from his career, such as performing at the White House. In addition, he talks about singing about God because it feels real in everyday life.

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Jeff Foxworthy is a comedian from the United States, best known for Dirt on My Shirt.

Quick Facts About Jeff Foxworthy

Born: September 6, 1958
Nationality: United States
Profession: Comedian
Notable works: Dirt on My Shirt

About Jeff Foxworthy

Jeffrey Marshall Foxworthy, better known as Jeff Foxworthy, is an American stand‑up comedian, actor, writer, and radio and television host. He performed with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour alongside Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, and formerly Ron White. His “You might be a redneck” one‑liners helped him sell six comedy albums, the first two of which earned triple‑Platinum certification from the Recording Industry Association of America. He also authored several joke books and an autobiography titled No Shirt, No Shoes… No Problem!

Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

I know God is real.

God

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I LIVE IN THE ESTROGEN OCEAN

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I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!

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There's no down time any more.

Time

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You might be a redneck if...your family tree doesn't fork.

Family

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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

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I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.

Family gathering

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You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Belt buckles

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I really don't require a whole lot in life.

Life

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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

Haircut

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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

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You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

Brain

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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do…

America

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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

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You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

Clown

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You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're…

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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could…

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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do…

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I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I…

Decision

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Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's…

Buying

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I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would…

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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and…

Kids

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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we…

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I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives…

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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt…

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It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the…

Dream

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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and…

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Country music is about new love and it's about old love. It's about gettin' drunk and gettin' sober. It's about leavin' and…

Backbone

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We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if…

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Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99%…

Ashtrays

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This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now.…

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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

Baseball

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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

Change

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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

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Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

Bad jobs

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Jeff Foxworthy by topic

Redneck (183) You might be a redneck if (155) Redneck humor (62) People (29) Thinking (24) Marriage (24) Funny (21) Wife (17) Humor (17) Time (14) Family (14) Kids (13) School (11) Life (11)