You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
