The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking? — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The introduction of homeopathy forced the old school doctor to stir around and learn something of a rational nature about his business.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Thou shalt not commit adultry is a command which makes no distinction between the following persons. They are all required to obey… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Schoolboy days are no happier than the days of afterlife, but we look back upon them regretfully because we have forgotten our… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I had been to school most all the time, and could spell, and read, and write just a little, and could say… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
