You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
