You might be a redneck if Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

— Jeff Foxworthy