You might be a redneck if Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 2

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

— Jeff Foxworthy