“Her smile was like a Samuel Beckett play - easy to read but difficult to interpret.” — Bob Smith Copy Share Image
Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
“the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Burke laughed, but there wasn’t any humor in his voice. “Romeo and Juliet died, son. Consider that all the answer you need.” — Joanna Wylde Copy Share Image
“You’d be surprised how often we see this injury in New York,' he told me. The deli-flowers-rubber-band-eye-snap thing. Beware.” — Rachel Dratch Copy Share Image
“Sometimes your gallop just isn't what it used to be. And neither is your horsemanship.” — Dyna Moe Copy Share Image
“A lot of men tend to want "models" I tell men, unless they look like a model themselves, they can't expect to… — Trisha Ventker Copy Share Image
“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“The sexual contact before this? “It was the first time.” The woman looked at Rat again, harder. The silence was more painful… — Graham Spaid Copy Share Image
“The American dream was not supposed to look like this, and when men went off the war, too often other men came… — Nelson DeMille Copy Share Image
“Subject: Sundown Date: June 14 2011 09:35 To: Christian Grey Dear Completely & Utterly Smitten I love waking up with you, too.… — E.L. James Copy Share Image
I'm just an actor. If it's drama, I add as much humour as the part will stand. And if it's a comedy,… — Michael Pena Copy Share Image
“Dog's ears went up at the word "ham": they say dogs have a vocabulary of about twenty words, and I was pretty… — Craig Johnson Copy Share Image
“or because he got eighteen years when he should have gotten more.' 'Seventeen,' Gus corrected. 'I'm assuming you've got some time, you… — John Green Copy Share Image
“It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractive brothers. Fillmore Nicholas had… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
“The people are like an audience watching a drama. They have characters whose sides they chose even before the start of the… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
“He made me feel an idiot, even when I knew he was a bigger one than I.” — Tracy Chevalier Copy Share Image
I'd love to do a comedy; that's the one thing I haven't done yet that I really, really want to do. — Zoe Kravitz Copy Share Image
Comedy isn't just timing; it's about rooting out the funny in the real. You just bend reality to the left a little. — Henry Winkler Copy Share Image
“You don't get to be the president of anything if you have bad manners.” — Daven Anderson Copy Share Image
The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The movies and comedy that I love the most, even if there are men starring in them, often the men wrote the… — Noel Wells Copy Share Image
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something. — Alan King Copy Share Image
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
“Ears back, tail up! I got to show off the white tip on the end of my tail. It's the flag that… — Sheron Long Copy Share Image
Women are constantly patting themselves on the back on how difficult their lives are and no one corrects em, cuz they wanna… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
As an entertainer, a comedy guy, whatever, you're never gonna be truly 100-percent happy with anything. — Corey Feldman Copy Share Image
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid! — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
“You gotta fart, Jayne. You've gotta break the spell. Fart for all you're worth! Let your butt sing!” — Elle Casey Copy Share Image
My humor is a lot like Kristen Wiig's from 'Saturday Night Live' or 'Bridesmaids.' Quirky, off the beaten path. — Nicole Ari Parker Copy Share Image
“In one move, she screwed me out of two beds. The best hookers in Vegas couldn't pull that off.” — Flint Ory Copy Share Image
I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But they're also the hardest to convert into comedy… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“Money is flowing past you all the time like an invisible breeze. The trick is to get some to slide into your… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
I haven't been offstage for more than two days since I started doing comedy. — Tony Rock Copy Share Image
People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and… — Christopher Guest Copy Share Image
When life gives you a Bad Romance, show everyone your Poker Face, buy a new Telephone, call Alejandro, and you guys Just… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Dont try to be the key for closed minded people, because they always change the locks” — Prince karabo maepa Copy Share Image
“That cat was a spy. You had to take a pot shot at it. It was a very clever German midget dressed… — J.D. Salinger Copy Share Image
It's been said good things come to those who wait... All I have to say is whatever is coming to me,better be… — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
