Dorothy Parker

all men are the same age.

— Dorothy Parker

“Excuse my dust.”

— Dorothy Parker

I DONT CARE..

— Dorothy Parker

“ The House Beautiful is, for me, the play lousy.”

— Dorothy Parker

Trapped like a trap in a trap

— Dorothy Parker

Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

— Dorothy Parker

I hate writing, I love having written.

— Dorothy Parker

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most.

— Dorothy Parker

Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!

— Dorothy Parker

Civilization is coming to an end, you understand.

— Dorothy Parker

They tire of quiet, that have known the storm

— Dorothy Parker

People Who Do Things exceed my endurance; God, for a man that solicits insurance!

— Dorothy Parker

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

— Dorothy Parker

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldnt be a bit surprised

— Dorothy Parker

Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.

— Dorothy Parker

I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

— Dorothy Parker

[On Dashiell Hammett:] ... he is so hard-boiled you could roll him on the White House lawn.

— Dorothy Parker

Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn…

— Dorothy Parker

[When asked what was the inspiration for most of her work:] Need of money, dear.

— Dorothy Parker

London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come…

— Dorothy Parker

There was always something immensely comic to her in the thought of living elsewhere than New York. She could not regard as…

— Dorothy Parker

And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word.

— Dorothy Parker

I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be…

— Dorothy Parker

Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your…

— Dorothy Parker

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong;…

— Dorothy Parker

“Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw --…

— Dorothy Parker

Excuse me, everybody, I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so.

— Dorothy Parker

My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In…

— Dorothy Parker

Little Words When you are gone, there is nor bloom nor leaf, Nor singing sea at night, nor silver birds; And I…

— Dorothy Parker

Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn, the word "sophisticate" means, very simply, "obscene." A sophisticatedstory is a dirty…

— Dorothy Parker

I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New…

— Dorothy Parker

“The Trifler Death's the lover that I'd be taking; Wild and fickle and fierce is he. Small's his care if my heart…

— Dorothy Parker

(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so…

— Dorothy Parker

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them…

— Dorothy Parker

There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism.…

— Dorothy Parker

Writing well is the best revenge.

— Dorothy Parker

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

— Dorothy Parker

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

— Dorothy Parker

Scratch a lover, and find a foe.

— Dorothy Parker

I've finally gotten to the bottom of things.

— Dorothy Parker