“Mimes! You can't tell me the devil doesn't have anything to do with mimes!-Paula, Holy Smokes” — Katie MacAlister Copy Share Image
“Claire to Tony: "I know you enjoy coffee, I'd offer you some. But, the last time I got you coffee, it didn't… — Aleatha Romig Copy Share Image
“Pennsylvania." The boys nodded appreciatively, as if Abby had said Emily was from Naughty Dirty Sex Land” — Sara Shepard Copy Share Image
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Comedy was not necessarily the thing that I thought it would be, but I was searching for something that felt scary to… — Rachel Brosnahan Copy Share Image
You're spreading rumors about me? At least you found a hobby spreading something other than your legs. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
Comedy is unique in the sense that laughter is a palpable noise that everyone makes. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
It's an amusing idea to some, this feminism thing - this audacious notion that women should be able to move through the… — Roxane Gay Copy Share Image
“New Rule: You can't force the ATM to do something it doesn't want to do. Excuse me, lady in front of me… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“She's easy to use." Laszlo pointed at the doll's neck. "You remove the clamp, insert the small funnel, select two quarts of… — Kerrelyn Sparks Copy Share Image
“The width of neck and shoulder suggested a rugby player, the broken nose confirmed it. Which shows just how wrong you can… — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
I like doing everything - theater and film, radio and TV, comedy and tragedy. I love it all. And I've never really… — Alfred Molina Copy Share Image
“I saved you,” Andersen said at last, slowly but firmly, like Pat was an idiot child who had to be reminded of… — Alex Gabriel Copy Share Image
“HARV appeared in front of me, arms crossed, head tilted. “You really should read your e-mails from Randy more carefully,” he lectured.… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
The search for truth can be compared to a cat chasing her tail: frantic in her pursuit, her quarry nevetheless eludes her;… — Gina Barreca Copy Share Image
“The only thing set in stone are dumb quotes and names of dead people. Everything else is subject to change.” — Kimberly Spencer Copy Share Image
“What a cheek. I do live a healthy life style. I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don;t exercise, how much… — Lynda Renham Copy Share Image
Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push… — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
Laughter dulls the sharpest pain and flattens out the greatest stress. To share it is to give a gift of health. — Barbara Johnson Copy Share Image
There is a kind of laughter people laugh at public events, as if a joke were a charity auction and they want… — William McIlvanney Copy Share Image
When the comedy community turned on me, I had a lot of reflecting to do. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
The minute you celebrate narcissism, which on one hand is very complex, it's very ridiculous. You have to love oneself with humor. — Nicolas Winding Refn Copy Share Image
I love mustaches with all my heart. There's just something about sketch comedy and mustaches. — Will Forte Copy Share Image
There are some things on which you can't place a value, your laughter is one of them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thomas Chong is a bad influence on children because of his drug use and crude humor — Unkown Copy Share Image
Roses are red violets are blue if your parents said that you are beautiful they're lying you. — Gothsynster Copy Share Image
I think the best comedy enlightens, informs, and changes the way people look at the world. — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
“...our witness, one Edward Littleton, was as gay as Elton John's handbag.” — Ann Somerville Copy Share Image
You're so old... there weren't History classes in school, they were called Current Events!! — Glenn Huskey Copy Share Image
Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
“Awesome . . .” Jared spoke up from the other side of the room. “Ember, the Otherworld's wonder mutt.” — Stacey Marie Brown Copy Share Image
So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster! — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
“Her red hair seemed to turn into flames of fire, and smoke billowed through each ear.” — Elle Klass Copy Share Image
“You can’t really have patience. You can be patient – if that’s what’s up for you.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
I take my 'Star Wars' quite seriously. There's humor in the movie, but as a fan I just wanted it to feel… — Gareth Edwards Copy Share Image
“The only way to be completely self-consistent is to be constantly uttering paradoxes.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Seriously. Poor little me can deal with having mated a millionaire.” “Oh, you found someone else? With less money?” — Vivian Arend Copy Share Image
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
