So apparently, I didn't even know you had a birthday. is not a valid excuse for missing one. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Often, contrasts bring art to life: the bright speck of paint on a dark canvas; the tightrope walk between humor and tragedy. — Laura van den Berg Copy Share Image
Writing comedy is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to anybody anytime. — Adriana Trigiani Copy Share Image
It seems to me that a man who is incapable of humor is capable of cruelty. — Bette Greene Copy Share Image
If wit is the most sophisticated form of humor, pranks are the most juvenile. — Maureen Dowd Copy Share Image
“When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If you’re in a street fight, you don’t go after a man’s ball sack. Respect the street code.” — Martin Reed Copy Share Image
The danger to power is obsession - power junkies. You need a very strong mind and humor to balance yourself. If you… — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
Comedy makes everything accessible. Watching the news is kind of like being fed your evening pill. What's fun about it? Nothing. And… — Dan Aykroyd Copy Share Image
“An academic definition of Lynchian might be that the term "refers to a particular kind of irony where the very macabre and… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“Do you mind?" I looked at him from my upside-down position. The rope tight around my ankle, hands fought a losing battle… — Isabelle Crusoe Copy Share Image
“She turned on me a flatteringly protracted but a wiltingly disapproving gaze, & then went inside, humming a light song to indicate… — O. Henry Copy Share Image
“So began one of the fiercest and strangest battles ever fought, a battle that involved all manner of business supplies, elegant clothing… — Trenton Lee Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, some of the action stuff, I tend to have a pretty good sense of humor about it. Even when I… — Dolph Lundgren Copy Share Image
The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension,… — J. K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“are you a wedgie?" Asked Massie. "No." "Then why are you all up in my butt?" Said Massie” — Lisi Harrison Copy Share Image
“Privately he called them a couple of puffed-up, dressed-up, made-up, stuck-up, brainless parakeets.” — Shirley Hughes Copy Share Image
Big Bang Theory' is not my kind of show. It's not my humor. I don't like multicam comedies. I don't want an… — Zachary Knighton Copy Share Image
“God picked me to be his punching bag...so who am I suposed to pray to for mercy?” — S.L.J. Shortt Copy Share Image
“I have this weird, bad feeling," said another boy. "In my feeling parts. Like something bad is going to happen.” — M.T. Anderson Copy Share Image
“Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really. — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
“Love the overuse of exclamation points!!!! Yes!!! They add a lot of emphasis!!! to what your character is saying!!!” — L.R.W. Lee Copy Share Image
“It's all fun and games 'till someone loses an eye, then it's just fun you can't see -Lars Ulrich” — Lars Ulrich Copy Share Image
It's doesn't matter how different your characters are. Just find a common goal! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Duct tape can't fix stupid," Bas growled. "Maybe not," Red replied, "but it can hold it down and muffled the screams.” — T. Hammond Copy Share Image
“I must say the efficiency of this nation in condemning a man is simply astounding. - Margrave Royston” — Jaida Jones Copy Share Image
The essence of humor is sensibility; warm, tender fellow-feeling with all forms of existence. — Thomas Carlyle Copy Share Image
There are no words to describe you because you just super-duper special in my heart! — Alex Low Copy Share Image
I look at things logically. The humor I do is to go from A to B to C to D, and F… — Ron Shock Copy Share Image
“How do you not let things bother you? By placing yourself out of the physical and emotional range of that which is… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Whatever dude, just as long as you're ok with carrying this thing out looking like Disco Barbie, it's cool with us.” — Rachel Higginson Copy Share Image
I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It never seems to occur to some people, that, like beauty, a sense of humor may sometimes be fatal. — Edgar Rice Burroughs Copy Share Image
After making several tragic movies in a row, I was looking to do a comedy, and one without cynicism. — Ang Lee Copy Share Image
I had no way to have a sense of humor about The Exorcist. I didn't know how. And this enabled me. — Linda Blair Copy Share Image
“This is why I have trust issues. -A girl realizing her shampoo will never make her look like the model in the… — Julie Johnson Copy Share Image
“We Three Kings of Leicester Square, Selling ladies’ underwear, So fantastic, no elastic, Only tuppence a pair.” — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
